A mom writes in asking advice about her 10-year-old stepson. She says that her stepson still wets the bed. He is large enough that they have to buy small adult Pull-ups for him to wear in bed. He has been to a doctor, but no helpful advice was given. This mom is frustrated because she feels like her stepson’s mom refuses to address the issue, and it is causing issues in her home when he is over. What should she do?
A member of the community asks:
“My stepson still pees the bed at night: Advice?
Please keep anonymous. My husband’s son is ten, and he still pees in the bed. We have to buy him small adult pull-ups for men bc he has already outgrown the kid pull-ups. Like this isn’t just a little bit of pee; we can wake him up several times throughout the night to get up and go pee, but by the time he wakes up, he has soaked through the pull-up, the pee pad, sheets and has already soaked to the mattress. This is a nightly thing, and having to wash the bedsheets and mattress every day is getting to be a little much.
My husband, who is the child’s father, already asked the mother to take him to the doctor bc this isn’t normal and the amount that he pees. He has nothing to drink after 7 pm, and we cut out soda altogether. His mother has insurance on him and said he pediatrician said it’s normal and he will grow out of it, but I think there is something else going on like he needs to go to a urologist and be checked out. My husband has told his son’s mother that he will make the appointment and take his son, so she doesn’t have to, but she always says he’s fine.
This is so frustrating and upsets me so much bc the mother acts like this isn’t something she should be concerned about. I have a 9-year-old, and the boys can’t even share their bed together bc my stepson completely soaks him at night, and they both wake up wet and have to take showers. This is not fair to anyone, especially my stepson bc I just feel like his mother doesn’t care, and if I try to step in and say something, she will get upset.
My husband and I have been together for three years and have a child together, so I feel like I should have some say in this and get this figured out, but I just don’t know how to approach the mother without starting an argument. Any advice would be great, thanks!”
Community Advice for This Mom Whose 10-Year-Old Stepson Still Wets the Bed
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“That same thing happened to me when I was young and still around his age. I ended up needing to get surgery to stretch the bladder because my bladder wasn’t growing with my body. They fixed it and never had problems after that. And I’m sure he feels embarrassed by it need to assure him it’s OK and not his fault and tell him you guys will try to help him get this figured out.”
“You’re doing more harm by waking him up in the middle of the night and ruining his sleep. Mom already discussed this with the pediatrician and was assured everything is ok. Use bed protectors, diapers, etc but stop making him feel worse about it then he already does. Be supportive. I am sure he doesn’t want to wet the bed, just as much, if not MORE than you don’t. Do some research, be compassionate, and stop making it all about you.”
“I worked child care for 16yrs, I was a private nanny in between gaps. I do not think it’s normal for a 10-year-old to still pee the bed and have to wear pull-ups. I’m not a medical professional, but in my opinion, I would get him to a pediatric urologist ASAP.”
“I took a few classes in psychology and sociology and that is a sign of anxiety. If he doesn’t do it throughout the day time and has complete control, I don’t know/think it would be a physical condition.”
“Your husband is his parent, if your stepson’s mother isn’t taking him in, then he needs to do it regardless of what she says. This could be symptoms of different types of abuse, stress, anxiety, or something physically wrong with his bladder control. To let it go isn’t fair to the child. Advocate for your stepson, he needs to be seen by a doctor.”
“Some of you guys crack me up. Stepmoms can’t win. She’s concerned about his health and you guys are saying it’s none of her business (mind you the dad and her are married, not just living together) but if something was really wrong and she didn’t address it you’d be screaming neglect. I guess I can see who in this group are the bitter baby mommas.”
“Maybe just say, ‘I think maybe we should get a second opinion so that we can all help him get through this. If it’s nothing then we all know that we did the right thing!'”
“This is one of the earliest and most common symptoms of juvenile diabetes. Dad needs to stop waiting on mom, and take his son to the doctor and actively seek a medical explanation instead of humiliating him with wearing diapers.”
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