Valentine’s Day is around the corner which means, MEMES!
So what better way to say “I love you” than laughing over a few of our favorite classic Valentine’s Day card memes. And while you scroll, please enjoy these epic Valentine’s Day Fails witnessed by real-life waiters for an extra belly laugh ahead of the heart-shaped holiday….
“I blew my car’s tire and my friend came in to bail me out,” one poster shared. “Were both straight dudes and forgot it was valentines. Decided to have dinner and both were coming from important meeting[s] so had suits on. We didn’t catch on until the end on how the entire wait staff thought we were just the cutest gay couple.”
“I served at a Japanese hibachi restaurant and once had a couple come and the dude dumps her after the meal,” one poster shared. “She then gets up and throws up a trail probably a good 20 feet as she runs to the bathroom. The dude got up and left the girl and I [were] left to clean the mess.”
“These two were on a date and the guy went to go use the bathroom,” a user shared. “The girl just up and leaves after he went to the restroom. When the guy came back he sat around for a while until asking his waitress where she went. She replied with saying that she left. The guy then asked the waitress if she would go on a date with him. The waitress said no.”
“Not a waiter but I was a pastry chef at this big resort in cape cod. We got a special order from this guy who was coming in for his anniversary (Valentine’s day). He wanted his desert to have ‘Will you marry me?’ written on it so he could pop the question when it came out. He called ahead to the front and back kitchen, even came in himself that morning to make sure it was good to go. The whole crew was behind him. We had cooks all night coming in [to] ask if it had happened yet. I wrote the inscription on the plate and dressed it to the nines with gold leaf and expensive chocolate. I’m taking a picture of the plate just before it’s set to go out and notice our head waiter come in with a weird look on his face. He says plainly ‘They don’t need it.’ She broke up with him before the entrees hit the table.”
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“A guy did a backflip and asked a girl to be his valentine,” one user posted. “She declined. I walked up to him and asked if he was fine, he said it took him a week to perfect.”
“Had a couple sign divorce papers and cry a bunch,” one user plainly stated. Oof.
“Old man proposed to old woman,” another user posted. “He tried to get off the chair to kneel, tripped and fell and I assume broke something since he couldn’t get back up and we had to call an ambulance. My manager had to drive her teeth to the hospital separately because she had taken them out to eat her soup (lord knows why) and left them on the table in the confusion.”
“Not my table, but back in my Olive Garden days,” one user shared. “We had a man who looked to be in his mid-20s tap his empty wine glass with a fork to call for [the] attention of the surrounding strangers, then get down on one knee with [a] silver band in hand, and ask his girlfriend/date to ‘accept this promise ring.’ She looked horrified start to finish.”
“In college, I waited tables and Valentine’s Day was always a good one in terms of tips. I once saw a couple come in to eat, halfway through the dinner the man’s wife shows up to surprise the couple. The wife took the wine bottle and poured the remnants on the husband’s head, took off her ring and told the girlfriend she could have him. He tipped me a $100.”
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“I was working as a waitress in a Sushi restaurant and Valentine’s Day was an all-hands-on-deck shift. This guy I had just started seeing wanted to go out, but I told him that working in food service, you never get Valentine’s Day off and we’d just have to celebrate the day after or the weekend after. Nope. He got so upset that he went and asked a different girl out, came to the restaurant I worked at on V-Day and sat in MY SECTION. He then proceeded to spend the entire evening making a fool out of himself and making his date uncomfortable as he tried to make me jealous. Needless to say we didn’t go out again. Ever.”
“Ex Barista here, hope that is close enough. Some guy on Valentine’s Day came in and asked us to write on the cup ‘will you marry me?’ It did not go well. She looked at the cup while he went down on one knee. She said nothing, put the cup back down and just walked away shaking her head. He, on the other hand, got p***** and started to rant about how she should have gotten over him sleeping with her sister already. . . . we had to ask him to leave.”
“Small, fine dining restaurant: Man from my table goes to the restroom and is gone for a while (probably 10 minutes? Which for a restaurant is a while),” a user posts. “As I’m passing by the restroom he’s all ‘PSSSS!’ Ushering me to the side and hurriedly whispering that he needs to leave through the kitchen because his wife’s best friend was sat near he and his date, who of course as I learn then and there is not his wife. We box the remaining courses up and do a walk of shame through the kitchen. He’s p*****, she’s crying, all while the rest of us are stifling our laughter. He ended up tipping well on the prix-fixe, which was nice.”
“I worked at pizza hut and the guy asked if I could bake a ring in the pizza. I politely declined. Their waitress did however put their ring on the pizza before bringing it to the table. The girl saw the ring, got mad, yelled at him for proposing at a pizza hut and walked out. He asked for a box, took the pizza and went after her.”
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“Serving at a touristy restaurant about 5 years back. Had a call for a reservation including ‘myself and my service dog,'” one user posted. “Okay. No problem…hours later, in walks this drop-dead gorgeous woman, with a full grown man in a dog mask and full leather suit (complete with leather tail) being LED on ALL FOURS behind her. She nonchalantly gives her name, it’s on the reservation list, and so the hostess just…leads her to her table… I walked up to them, being super professional (I was so stoned it wasn’t really phasing me) and this woman just orders like 200$ worth of random apps, entrees, and a bottle of higher-end merlot. Of course, there were stares, of course, others tables inquired and/or complained, but he was such a well behaved ‘service dog’ and I never mentioned it or asked questions or stared, and I s*** you not that lady tipped me 100% in cash with a twinkle in her eye as she left. 10/10 would wait on them again. Not really a ‘disaster’ in the traditional sense, but…disaster nonetheless.”
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