My sister doesn’t respect me as a mom.

I want to know what you mamas would do. I’m a single mom to a two-year-old. I love her with all my might. And I have two sisters, the first sister has four kids, and she doesn’t respect me as a mom. She thinks because I only have one kid, I don’t understand what being a mom is. But that’s beside the point I’ve learned to deal with her. But I have another sister who is what I call a mom to an angel baby (miscarriage) we never really talked at all because my mother lives with me and she hates my mother. Well, I have tried for ten years to speak to her, but nothing ever came of it.she lives on the other side of the. The US. But then she got pregnant, and she started talking to me again. It was nice to have my sister back; we were talking all the time, and everything was going right. And then she miscarried 3 or 4 months ago. Now she has stopped talking to me again, and while I know it takes time to heal and that she may never recover from it no matter how long it is. I want my sister back. What do I say to her ? what do I do for her? I’ve told her I’m always there for her no matter what and that if she ever needed me, I would be there. I’ve told her I’m so sorry for her loss and that no matter what she will always be a mommy now.

17 thoughts on “My sister doesn’t respect me as a mom.”

  1. 3+

    People grieve in their own way. Seeing you with your child is a knife in her heart. Hearing about your child is a knife in her heart. She’ll heal. Just wait and be there.

  2. 3+

    From experience she might not be able to handle being around a child or talking about children ECT. Yes she might be a mum to a Angel but in her mind she could be thinking she’s not cause there’s no baby. Give her space let her grieve. Losing a child is the hardest thing a woman can go through and that loss never leaves you

  3. 3+

    Just be honest with her. Tell her how much you have enjoyed talking all the time and that you want her to be a part of your life. Leave out talk of children until she brings it up.

  4. 1+

    Coming from experience, I had two miscarriages trying for my second. I grieved by avoiding babies every single way possible. It’s nothing against you, shes hurting. And sometimes pushing the people away who love her, and avoiding all things that bring back the painful memories.. people grieve differently. Just let her know your always there. And when shes ready she will come to you.

  5. 1+

    Try to be honest. Make contact. Let her be the lead. It’s a little different but a friend of mine 6 year old daughter passed away right after my son was born. When we went to the funeral, I kept my son away from her because I didn’t want to show off my new baby to a grieving mother. She actually found me and took my son’s car seat away from me and fell in love with him. It’s what she felt she needed and I just took her lead.

  6. 1+

    Does she talk to your other sister with the 4 kids? If so, then saying it’s because you have a baby is out of the question. But if she doesnt, it probably hurts to see what she doesnt have. No matter which way you grieve, losing a baby is the most difficult thing to get past. Message her and say you dont understand from experience what she is feeling or going through, but whenever she is ready you are right there despite the distance between you. She’s most likely in shut down mode. Nobody who is grieving wants to hear that it will get easier or theyre in a better place. Ultimately, they know that. First they must let out everything they are feeling before realizing it will be okay. Support her in whatever she chooses to do if you truly love her. And tell her that.

  7. 0

    Shes hurting iv had 2 miscarriage second hit hard heard the heartbeat 3 days before it happend this was over 3 years ago I still think about what could have been she will come around give her time my husband still gets upset and we have 2 beautiful babys his oldest just turned 3 I conceived him 3 weeks after I misscarried that helped alot made me focus on him and that pregnacy also my so got me a cat who I love like a child when this happened it helped me grieve gave me something to love and take care of

  8. 0

    Try not talking but listening to her. Maybe she feels betrayed over your mom living with you? Her pregnancy bridged the gap between the 2 of you?
    Try writing a heartfelt letter saying you miss her and are there to listen. Leave kids out of it. Talk about being sisters and nothing else.
    You’d probably be surprised at what she’s feeling.

  9. 0

    She might just need a little bit of time, she’ll come around. After I had a miscarriage I had a very difficult time being around my niece who was a baby at the time, tbh I didn’t even want to hear too much about her because I was in so much pain about the child I lost. It just takes some time, sure enough after a couple of months I slowly processed through it and everything went back to normal. Fast forward a year and a half later I now have my rainbow baby and her and my niece are 2 years almost to the day apart and the best of friends. Be patience with her, she’ll come around.

  10. 0

    As someone who’s gone through the pain of losing a full term baby, I can honestly say she may want to talk to you and just not be able to yet. I avoided people with children for almost a year. Reach out every few days, but be prepared to possibly be ignored for awhile. She’s likely just existing at this point.

  11. 1+

    There’s really not much you can say. She will either come around or she won’t. All you can do is tell her you love her and you’ll be here if she needs you or even if she just wants a friend. It’s going to take time and she may not be ready yet.

  12. 0

    Please dont take it personally. I know it can be hard but maybe that is how she deals. That is how I have. I keep to myself go through the motions and everything can be a reminder. Everyone is so different for everyone. Just reach out every so often and just say I love you and let her come to you.

  13. 0

    I feel you on your sister with 4 kids not respecting you as a mom. But as for your other sister, she’s hurting. Reach out every now and again and let her know you love her, but don’t mention your baby or hers. And don’t harass her. I know you miss her, but this isn’t about you. That poor woman just lost the center of her entire world. You need to be selfless for her, and allow her to grieve. However she choses. Just be patient and be there when she’s ready ❤

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