I Just Found Out My Husband had an Affair Early in Our Marriage: What do I Do?

I Just Found Out My Husband had an Affair Early in Our Marriage: What do I Do?

A mom writes in asking for advice. Someone shared a rumor with her about her husband having an affair. She didn’t believe it, but jokingly mentioned it to her husband in passing. When she discussed it with her husband, he admitted to having an affair early in their marriage. The mom doesn’t know what to think or do; she has very mixed emotions. Any advice for this mom?

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Community Question: How Do I Forgive My Husband for Cheating?

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A member of the community asks:

“I have been with my husband for 14 years. We have two amazing kids, and he has been nothing but great to me and the best father to our kids. This morning I heard a rumor that he had an affair with one of his employees at his previous job. So I jokingly told him about it.

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I told him because trust has always been our biggest thing, and we agreed that cheating is an absolute deal-breaker. He immediately admitted that it was true! It was a year and a half ago, and it happened multiple times over a couple of months. I am eaten up with emotions, and I don’t know what to do or think. So I really need advice! Thank you!”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

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Community Advice for This Mom Heartbroken due to Cheating Husband

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

via GIPHY

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Advice for this mom was split. Many told her to leave her husband who had an affair early in their marriage. One commenter said, “If you don’t leave him now, then the rest of your life will be miserable from worry and wondering if he’ll do it again.” Another shared, “Well sadly your relationship will never be the same now. He ruined that. Trust is now broken and will be hard for you because now you’ll feel you need to watch him. I would just leave.”

Some commenters felt she should try to make it work. One commented, “Try and work through it first. No human is perfect. If he’s as great as you say don’t give up that easy. Don’t let other’s opinions influence your decision. Good luck.” Another shared, “My husband cheated on me at the very beginning of our relationship and I forgave him, moved on, and completely trust him again. It took about a year to gain the trust back.”

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Ultimately, many commenters shared that it was up to the mom to decide what to do. One shared, “Trust is the foundation of marriage. You will always be wondering what he is doing from now on. If you can deal with this then okay.” Another agreed, “You have a personal decision to make that no one else can make for you. Can you forgive him, and move on? Or will this bug you for the rest of your life? You have to choose to forgive. But if you can’t do this, you need to leave. It’s up to you and you alone.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.

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