Why are we so often, our own worst enemy? Especially as women, why are we always listening to our inner critic? We seem to have different standards for how we treat ourselves versus how we treat other people. We would never say the things to other people that we say internally to ourselves.
Why is this ok? Shouldn’t we be taught to love ourselves and to be kind to ourselves? In fact, the relationship we have with ourselves is the longest relationship we will ever have. So why is it so hard to be nice to ourselves? Listed below are some great resources and articles to help you “tame Your inner critic”.
As a mother of three daughters, I see firsthand how teenagers can be so critical of themselves. It’s understandable, as they are trying to figure the world out and how and where they fit into it. Through this discovery process, they are often comparing themselves to their peers and others.
I have to frequently remind my girls that when they have made a mistake or when they are upset about something, “What would you say to a friend in this situation? How would you treat them?” More than likely it would not be with judgment and criticism, but instead, they would have compassion and would be kind and patient toward their friends.
4 Great Tools & Resources To Help Tame The Inner Critic
1. Dr. Joe Dispenza
As a Holistic Health Coach, I work a lot with my clients on internal dialogue. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, we have over 70,000 thoughts per day. Well, guess what, when most of these thoughts are negative and critical toward ourselves, others, and our circumstances, these thoughts are going to play a big part in how you feel.
There is a great book that I have my clients read called, ‘Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself” by Dr. Joe Dispenza. The book helps the reader start to become aware of the patterning and behavior that we as humans can develop over time. Oftentimes, we start acting on autopilot and without thinking related to our mindset and automatic programming.
2. Dr. Nicole LePera
Another great resource that I follow is Dr. Nicole LePera. She calls herself the Holistic Psychologist. You can follow her on Instagram at the.holistic.psychologist. She has some great content and perspectives on how we can develop limiting beliefs and certain perspectives on things from our childhood as well as tools and techniques to shift them. She has written books and she has some great meditations on her website The Holistic Psychologic
3. Positive Psychology & The Science of Happiness
The power and impact of our thoughts is not a new concept, but in fact, it is starting to be studied in more detail from a scientific perspective. In fact, there are degrees in Positive Psychology and many studies have been conducted on The Science of Happiness. One woman, in particular, Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph.D., has done extensive research on Positive Psychology and the impact our thoughts and intent have on our happiness. She is the Director of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Laboratory (PEP Lab) at UNC-Chapel Hill.
4. Below Are Some Great Articles on How to Manage Your Inner Critic
- 4 Ways To Overcome Your Inner Critic
- How to Stand Up To Your Inner Critic
- 8 Helpful Inner Critic Worksheets (Downloadable)
- Silence Your Inner Critic
- How To Diminish The Power of Your Inner Critic
- 3 Reasons Your Inner Critic Persists
- 7 Types of Inner Critic
- Taming Your Inner Critic: 7 Steps To Silencing The Negativity
- How Leaders Can Manage Their Own Inner Critic (MIT-Sloan)
So now is the time to start being kinder to ourselves. To love ourselves like we love others and to care for ourselves and mental health like it matters because it does!
Laura is a Holistic Health Coach & Founder of Holistic Life Community in Wakefield, MA. She opened this center to be a resource & provide a community of holistic professionals that are dedicated and passionate in helping, educating & guiding people on their journey to find health, balance and joy in life again. Her 3 daughters propelled her into this work, when they were born with severe food allergies. Regular medicine provided no solutions, so she went on a mission to find a way to help her kids. She looked to Alternative Medicine and found holistic approaches that cured her kids of their food allergies, Lyme Disease and then her own life long struggle with depression & anxiety. She is passionate about giving people hope using holistic approaches.
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