A mom writes in asking for advice after her 6-year-old daughter walked in on her and her husband while they were, you know… doing it. She says her daughter definitely noticed something was going on, asked her parents to be quiet, and made a remark about their “weird” behavior. This mom knows she has to speak with her daughter about what she saw, but she is unsure of what, exactly, to say. Any advice for her?
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A member of the community asks:
“My 6-year-old walked in on us doing the deed: How should we handle this?
Mamas, I need advice!!! My six-year-old daughter just walked in on hubby and I am having sex… ( I know it happens to the best of us lol). We quickly stopped and tried to play it off but she totally saw it happening. Her words were “can you guys please be quiet. And I don’t know what daddy was doing to you, but that was weird.”
We just busted out laughing and said go back to bed. We will come to tuck you in. Hubby is in panic mode, googling what to do lol. He found an article that says if over age five be honest, just don’t go into detail. So am I suppose to tell my six-year-old we were having sex? I’m not sure I’m ready for all that. What should we tell her? I KNOW it’s going be brought up tomorrow, and I have no clue what to even say. HELPPPP!!!”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Daughter Walked In on Her and Her Husband Having Sex
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Don’t say anything unless she asks questions. If she’s mature enough to ask questions she’s old enough to deserve a mature answer according to her age.”
“I wouldn’t even mention it to her. If she brings it up, just say ‘it’s just us showing we love each other. It’s what mum’s and dads do.’ And put a lock on your bedroom door.”
“My daughter did the same…I told her we were getting dressed and it turned into wrestling. She bought it.”
“IMO talking to kids honestly about sex helps them not to develop insecurities around it. Sex is a normal and healthy part of a marriage and IMO kids should be able to come to their parents with questions about it…
… My husband and I have talked about what we would say. We decided that we would essentially say that we were expressing love in a way that only adults in love express love. We would stress that it is usually a private activity, but if our kids didn’t understand something or had questions it was ok to talk to mom and dad, but we don’t talk about sex at school. That’s probably not a perfect answer, but it’s what we have come up with so far.”
“My oldest daughter caught me when she was like five maybe. She said what are you doing and I was like wrestling. She literally goes ‘you wrestle all the time.’ I busted out laughing so hard.”
“Tell her when 2 people love each other and have feelings for each other they get as close as they can get… that might be all she needs to know.”
“Ask her to please knock and wait outside the door next time. If she lets it go, don’t bring it up. If she starts asking, be honest, and only answer the questions she asks. She might only wanna know one or two things and then she gets a speech about birds and bees and she just wanted to know if you get cold (what I asked my mom lol).”
“Honesty is the best policy! But always let them lead the conversation, start with a simple open question, and go from there. I have 1 boy 11 and a girl 9 and we always tell them the age-appropriate truth if they have further questions we answer. They always feel comfortable talking to us even if it’s weird they know we will be there.”
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