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QUESTION: My 6-Year-Old Daughter Throws Tantrums Like She’s Still a Toddler: How Do I Get It to Stop?
“I have a 6-year-old, and she screams and throws tantrums like a two-year-old. I live in an apartment, and it’s extremely frustrating!!!!!! I can’t imagine how my neighbors feel.
I’m at my wit’s end. Tonight she was screaming, and I lost my temper after she started KICKING ME! I have no idea what to do.”
Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“At this point, therapy might be a good option. My son, who is almost 5, struggles with handling his emotions. He started therapy last year, and it has done a world of good for us (and for my downstairs neighbors). He was diagnosed with two separate things. Had I not taken him to therapy, I would never have known a) what his struggles are and b) how to effectively help him.”
“Hitting an already out of control child will only make it a bigger physical fight. You as the adult should stay calm and not react to her. Therapy is beneficial to everyone. Especially kids with big emotions and parents to help understand and communicate better with them. A therapist also knows the signs to look for in Nero divergent kids. They need different kinds of teaching and discipline.”
“I would honestly bring it up with your child’s pediatrician. At that age, a kid doesn’t fully know how to handle emotions and kids need extra help or coaching. Spanking is a TERRIBLE bit of advice. Hitting a kid for not being able to express what they’re really feeling is only going to escalate things even more. Validate your child’s feelings. Talk through them. This might be a bigger problem than just you and your child. Seek the extra help and please remember that no question is a stupid question. I really hope things turn around for you.”
“This is something I do with my four year old when he has really big feelings. It’s a grounding exercise I read about a while ago. Have them trace their hands starting at the middle of their palm, have them breathe in tracing their finger up their thumb and breathe out tracing back down to the centre of their hand and repeat with the rest of their fingers…
… It’s supposed to help focus their brain enough that it can switch from being in a state where they cant process anything except the emotions their feeling to a more logical state of thinking. It took some patience and time to be able to have him do it while he is having a meltdown we had to start with just breathing and work up from there but it works for us. Good luck mama!”
“Put her on time out! Grab her hand walk her to a time out spot. You sit with her on time out (one minute per age) she tries to get up put her back in to spot. Keep following through . Every time she tries to get up time starts over again. It will and does work be consistent.”
“Have them sit down and write an apology letter to the neighbors. I made my son do it when he throws a fit and continuously stomps around (we are above someone)…”
“It’s usually because they don’t know how to express their emotions. I suggest talking with your pediatrician and therapy. My daughter used to have out of control tantrums. We have taught her to go to her calming area. We ignore the tantrums until she is ready to speak. Believe me at 1st they got worse but then she started realizing that she wasn’t gonna get the attention she craved. Positive or negative.”
“My oldest just turned 7 and he had tantrums at 6. My youngest boy just turned 6 and he does the same thing. It really is just them having BIG emotions and not knowing how to convey them to you. They both got timeouts when they acted out but I also made it a point for them to feel heard from me. Listen to what is bothering her. What makes her frustrated and help her learn how to work thru the emotions before the tantrum starts. What triggers her tantrums? These are all things I take into consideration that help my boys work things out before they have a tantrum and after.”
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