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QUESTION: How Do I Tell a Woman I Don’t Know Her Husband Is Cheating?
“How do I tell a woman I don’t know her husband has been cheating for 25 years (with my mother)?”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Those saying ‘not your business’ have probably cheated or like to look stupid.”
“Kinda astonishing people are saying it’s not your business. Wouldn’t want you as friends. Tell her! No one deserves that. Ever. I don’t care who it is. Cheating is the worst and anyone/everyone needs to be called out on it.”
“You tell her the truth. Just let her know what you know and show her the proof. Don’t let her continue to look like a fool. I was pissed when I found out and no one told me and many people knew.”
“So… I’m usually a mind your own business person, but I would want to know so I could get out and stop looking like an idiot and get on with my life. I don’t care what anyone on here is saying… you’d want to know too.”
“I beg to differ. I was the wife. Ironically we’ve been together 25 years. I can only tell you I was grateful to find out. It actually set me free from a narcissistic relationship. Never been happier in my life to find out the truth about anything.”
“Yes she should tell her!! I’m sure the woman would like to know her husband is cheating she deserves to know! Send her the proof!”
“After 25 years??? That woman either knows and she doesn’t care, or she doesn’t want to know! There is no in between on that. If he don’t have children with your mother, let it go. But I do suggest you invite them over next Christmas, because after 25 years, it’s not cheating — they sister wives, and family don’t leave family out on the holidays.”
“Don’t listen to anyone saying not to tell her, if you were in her position you would want to know, and on the off chance that she already knows then why would she be mad about you telling her something she already knows, don’t be part of the problem, this isn’t something to sweep under the rug.”
“I’m sure the man and his wife have already worked through that. You don’t have an affair for 25 years and the spouse not know something is up… Mind your business. She’s your mom, why would you try to ruin her reputation? The only way I’d say it’s good to tell, is if he is possibly your father.”
“If it’s been 25 years the wife probably already knows & doesn’t care. I’d keep my mouth shut & mind my business. Sometimes leaving things unsaid is better.”
“Definitely have proof. If someone knew that my husband was cheating and didn’t tell me I would be just as pissed at them as at him.”
“Well, for 25 years… There’s absolutely no way the wife doesn’t know. Perhaps it’s an agreement?”
“25 years? She part of the family, wym?”
“Just explain to her what’s going on… she either knows and doesn’t care or is completely fooled and has no idea. Either way, you telling her would be the right thing. I know I’d want to know if my husband was cheating on me… no matter how many years it’s been going on. If she knows, at least you know you can leave it alone and ease your mind.”
“Hold up!!! Wait a minute! Is this the 25th Anniversary tell tale? Are you the child of this affair or are you mad at your mom for something and this is payback because mom shouldn’t have participated. Just make sure you are prepared for that chaos that’s coming once you open that door!!!!”
“It’s very likely she already knows. On one level or another. Women usually feel these things out after awhile. 25 years? I’m betting she’s aware.”
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