Advice on being a single mom?

I’m a mother of a two year old, and I’m still with my daughter’s father, and we’ve been together for four years. We have had more downs than ups being together. At this point, I know he will never change. I’m currently going to start going to counseling for myself because I want to become a better person and a better parent, of course. I want to leave my baby father, but it’s hard because he’s been the only support that I have had. I don’t speak to my parents; they are not in my life. And I’m just so sad because I want to leave him so bad. But I won’t have anywhere to go with my daughter, and I NEVER want to give up my rights for him over my daughter because my daughter is my world. I know I can get a job a full-time job, but it’s going to take a while. I just need help at this point in knowing what to do. I just want to be happy with myself and my daughter. How do you single mothers do it? With or without support from your family.

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227 thoughts on “Advice on being a single mom?”

  1. 0

    It’s always going to be hard. It’s never going to be easy. But I can guarantee it will be worth it. Look into single mother options. Go look up subsidized housing. Consider using your tax return money to get your own place. Figure out what you need to do to get where you want to go. Use this time and plan thoroughly. If I did it, then I know you can.

  2. 3+

    You can not stay in a relationship if you are unhappy. and especially not for a child. Your child will see you unhappy and it will not be good. Do what will benefit the both of you.

  3. 4+

    Everything seems so hard when you haven’t left yet. You feel sorry for them for yourself for your child but in the end it’s great that you noticed he isn’t going to change. Depends on what country you reside in and the support the government gives. The first few years is Hard but it gets better and once you start living your own life you will realise you have done the right thing… sometimes struggling short term is better than suffering long term ????

  4. 0

    you take it one day at a time!! start putting up money.. get your own checking account or savings account.. i recommend you reconciling with your parents. but honestly you are going to need help with baby. Me and my husband moved away from everyone we know it was just us and let me say this its hard…. your going to need help.

  5. 0

    I apologize about the length of this comment: I’ve been a single mom for 10 years and I will be honest, it has not always been easy. When I left my ex husband and father of my children, I also was not working. I was in school so I used left over loan money to get by for a month until I found a job. As a single parent, there are resources available like food stamps and daycare assistance etc. Check with your local family support division. It was never easy for me to ask for help especially as a single mother. I never let my kids know the struggle though. Be willing to sacrifice your wants for your childs needs as a single parent. I remember a time where I had literally no furniture and could barely put food on the table but I always managed to feed my kids. My advice would be to start the “single mother” process before you leave your husband if that is the way you plan to go. Do your research on resources that are available for single mothers. Begin applying for jobs or looking at jobs you’d be able to do. Decide if you will want home daycare or a daycare center for your child and research how much it will cost. Daycare is expensive either way. The road was and is hard for a single mother so be prepared for that. If you can, put money aside to save for your own place. Leaving a spouse requires planning..i wish I had planned it better. But, on the other side of it: As a single mother, I put myself through college and earned my degree, I have a fantastic job that I worked hard for by working my way through the career field, and I found love again after I fixed myself. So..while the road of a single parent is is not impossible to survive and thrive. Good luck to you!

  6. 5+

    If you are near a good Bible teaching Church often they have support groups for you and your child. If he is abusive to you or your child so important to separate. But do not jump into another relationship. Concentrate on your wellbeing and your childs..

  7. 0

    Whatever you will receive from counseling is just an addition to what you have already decided. It all lies up to us, what our hear says. About your parents it’s a very big mistake you have made, try by all means to put them back in your life. Don’t cry once it’s too late. Most of us have lost parents and would do anything to have them into our lives, but till we meet in Glory land. Christ your parents and allow your child to enjoy its grandparents. About your man, follow your heart.

  8. 4+

    Definitely counseling to start. That will give you perspective in moving forward . Hopefully you can get a full time job to start building not only your funds, but your confidence level as well . Can you seek employment in a good daycare center as most will allow your child to attend free. If you could do this until she goes full time to school then you have better opportunities to look at. Your state may be able to supplement you with housing , food and when she is in school, funds for aftercare until you get home from work . You can do this. Stay strong and best wishes . ????????????????♥️

  9. 1+

    I left with a trashbag full of clothes, no car and no phone. Had a generous friend who let my some and I stay in the extra bedroom. It’s hard as hell, but you do whatever you need to do for your child. Period.

  10. 0

    This is not meant to disparage the person with the problem, but I see so many authors here talking about their relationships, their children, etc, and many are not married to the children’s father or got married after the children were born, which brings my curiosity as to how they assess the commitment that the man had in the first place. It is really important to choose your children’s father wisely. It is also important for men to choose their children’s mother wisely. Partners with previous spouses and children, troubled dynamics that go on for years involving abuse, separations, child custody battles, etc. are very harmful to children, and the parents who are experiencing these troubles in their relationships may even have been victims of this dynamic from their own families. Just something to think about. Children need stability, support, and love most of all. As the child of an alcoholic father and a troubled family life, even much less dramatic than many of these stories, I can attest that it is immeasurably damaging to the prospects for a happy relationship in the future of any child.

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