One dad is asking Reddit’s popular AITA thread to ask if he is in the wrong for not bailing out his stepdaughter with funds for his son’s college tuition.
“I have been remarried to my amazing new wife for about 6 years now. She has moved in with me along with her now 23-year-old daughter. After my most recent divorce, I have saved money aside so I can put my son through college. He has just turned 18 now.”
“My stepdaughter, unfortunately, has had difficulties managing her money responsibly. She has gone on shopping sprees during the pandemic using the C.A.R.E act stimulés checks from the government to buy herself Louis Vuitton bags and red bottom heels.”
The OP continues on, asking if he and his wife should bail her out or let her figure it out — and if he does the latter, does that make him an a******.
“We understand that she has put herself in a difficult position that’s why we are considering bailing her out just once to help her. My wife says that we should use the money from my son’s college fund to bail her out. I refuse to because I have saved that money specifically for my son. My wife is upset as she thinks that we should operate as a team and treat each child as if they were our own.”
Many users were quick to comment their two cents.
One user said: “As someone who has had experience with this…”
- In no scenario does the daughter keep any of the luxury items. They are returned or sold. This includes the ones she didn’t tell you about because there are more. ALL of them.
- Do not bail her out now or in the future. She will not learn that way. Teach her how to consolidate debt and work with credit cards to negotiate the payments and interest. SHE has to pay it off.
- Tell your wife you are treating them the same. College funds are not for shopping. Step or otherwise.
- Do NOT bail her out!!!
While another commented: “To add to this, while credit card debt can be very difficult to get out from under, it’s much easier than student loan debt. That money is outright better spent investing in OP’s son’s future, not because OP’s son is better than OP’s step-daughter or anything, but because it’s a better investment for the family as a whole. If OP were to bail his step-daughter out without getting her help for her obvious issues, what does that actually accomplish?”
Followed by: “And make sure indeed it is only a loan anyone gives her to help her out. Otherwise she will not learn how to behave responsibly with money, instead she’ll learn that if she’s in debt, someone else will pay it for her. A first time debt, all you should do to bail someone out is help them with plan on how to pay it all back.”
What do YOU think?
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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