One user is asking if they are in the wrong for refusing to cut their hair in an effort to keep the peace with a friend and their sister.
“I have a little over three feet of hair. It’s naturally on the thin side, but I’ve been taking good care of it so there’s no breakage or heat damage.”
“People ask about it occasionally, but usually they’re just curious how/why I’ve grown it so long. (To answer, in case anyone is curious: I don’t rinse out my conditioner all the way and I manually detangle every knot instead of ripping through them with a brush, and I just like having long hair. It’s not religion-related or anything.)”
“I do have one person in my life, though, who I’ll call R (20 F[emale]). She has a much younger sister, E (8F) who has alopecia and is very insecure about being bald. Their family doesn’t have much money and can’t afford a wig that E can wear, since she also has allergies to one of the main ingredients in synthetic wigs.”
“R told me about a week ago that she contacted a wig-making place who said they could provide a big discount if the family could provide the hair themselves. She asked me to donate my hair, and I said no.”
“She wasn’t initially upset and didn’t press me at first—I don’t think she expected me to say yes right away—but she has become steadily more persistent over the past few days. She keeps calling me selfish, saying I ‘wouldn’t even miss it,’ and that I ‘don’t need it’ since I’m not growing my hair for religious reasons.”
But the OP rebutted, saying she would absolutely miss her hair.
“I absolutely would miss it, since they would need about 16 inches for a full wig because my hair is so thin. I also have psoriasis, so I’m a little irrationally attached to my long pretty hair because my scalp is so gross. She snapped. She told me that how much I love my hair should show me just how insecure E is without any hair at all and that it would make it a really meaningful gift.”
“I also found out tonight that she already told E I would be giving her my hair, so she said I’d be breaking E’s heart if I ‘went back on it now,’ even though—again—I NEVER said yes.”
One user said: “NTA. She can grow her own hair out for her sister, and it’s incredibly cheeky for her to be telling you she already told her sister yes. she is breaking her sister’s heart, not you.”
While another commented: “NTA. It’s your hair. It’s literally part of your body and attached to you. You are not responsible for R’s lies or for R’s sister. If R asks again, be very clear (in writing) that harassing someone to donate part of their body is illegal. That it needs to stop immediately or legal action will be taken. I’d also never sleep in the same house as R, in case she decides to steal from you.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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