One mother is asking Reddit if they are the a****** for making a scene at their sister’s wedding after the sister lied to the Original Poster about it being a child-free wedding.
“My step-daughter (15) Jane has a burn scar around her neck and covers one side of her face. The reason was an accident that took place 4 years ago and yes she’s already gotten tons of insensitive comments but to me and her dad, she’s still the most beautiful soul. My family’s been supportive and loving towards Jane.”
“My sister and her now-husband got married days ago. They told me and my husband they decided the wedding will be child-free. Meaning Jane couldn’t come. They asked if that’d be okay and we said yeah! Absolutely, we respect the bride and groom’s rules. I’ve immediately arranged for Jane to stay with a friend that she calls >>Auntie<< though Jane wanted to attend the wedding but I explained this was a rule for everyone and we should respect that.”
Everything seemed fine….until the pair walked into the wedding.
“My husband and I got to the venue and first thing we noticed was kids…kids of all ages all around the venue. My husband literally stopped walking. He paused for few seconds, looked at me then let go of my hand and said he was outta there. He walked out but I stood still when mom saw me and signaled me to come to join the family. But I didn’t go. I asked one of the guests who had his kid with him and he said this event allowed kids. I was seeing red at this point cause I was fooled into leaving Jane at home and coming with my husband only.”
“I ignored mom and went straight to where my sister and her husband were standing. Then I blew up at them asking why they lied about this being a child-free wedding when it wasn’t. I asked them in front of everyone why they decided to basically lie to me and my husband and get us to [exclude] our daughter? Why? Is Jane somehow different from the other kids who showed up? My sister tried to calm me down but I bluntly asked if It was cause her step-niece has a burnscar/visible injury that she and her husband were too ashamed of. I literally heard guests saying ‘oh’ mom tried to get me to step off the stage. But I proceeded to call my sister and her husband awful, insensitive people with no respect for me nor their niece.”
The bride was obviously upset.
“My sister started crying saying she would never and that I misunderstood and my BIL begged me to go sit but I refused and said I wasn’t interested in celebrating/supporting their marriage after this. I walked out and was followed by mom and aunt’s lashing out saying I went way out of line and was disrespectful of the bride who’s my sister for God’s sake and ruined her wedding by saying that in front of everyone. Mom said it was BIL’s idea and I have [the] right to be mad but I should’ve confronted her later not in front of guests and ruining the event. They said eventually this was their day and get to decide but still. They said I should’ve spoken to her privately or left instead of making a scene.”
One person commented: “Your BIL and sister made the conscious decision to exclude a single person because of their looks. Shallow and vain, they wanted to make sure that all post-wedding, photo-viewing eyes were on them and not distracted (or so they assumed) by your daughter’s scar. That is a gigantically assholish and harmful thing to do. And they made that decision knowing it would be controversial. They knew they were a******* because they decided to conceal it from you. Hell, they could have actually had a child-free wedding and no one would have been the wiser. But instead, they chose a course that could only harm. They are selfish, vain, a*******, and you are in the clear.
While another said: “I can’t even imagine how they thought this would play out with Jane after the event. Did they think she wouldn’t find out? That she wouldn’t see other kids in the wedding photos on SM and start asking questions? She’s 15 years old not 15 months old. (I’m not saying it would be OK to do to a toddler either bug at least they would probably not realise until older) And for that matter what were they planning to say if other guests asked them why OP didn’t bring her daughter. Kudos to Jane’s Dad for noping out of there!! Hero dad material. He’s a keeper OP.”
What do YOU think?
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.