One user is asking Reddit‘s AITA thread if he is in the wrong for blasting some tough love during his buddy’s wedding toast.
“I’m a 30-year-old male and my best friend got married last week. I just bought a house and my wife is expecting our son in November, so I let him know I was limited in what I could contribute financially but did tell him I would try my best. So, I went to the bachelor party in Maine, I rented the tux, and paid for [me] and my wife’s dinner at the rehearsal dinner. I also had a gift of $300 that I was going to give them, but we will get to why I didn’t give it to them,” the Original Poster (OP) begins.
“His (now wife, then fiance) texted me multiple times a day with updates-fine. I didn’t always respond and it got to the point where if I didn’t respond at LEAST once a day, I’d get a call from my buddy. (I have a full-time job and am redoing some rooms in my house, so I’m busy.) She texted me for the following reasons,” to which the OP lists them off as follows:
- My wife was NOT allowed to talk about our pregnancy, at all. She didn’t want anyone to focus on that more than her, the bride.
- She was NOT going to order special food for my wife (no one asked her to, my wife was fine with whatever she was going to be served.)
- I was not helping the groom enough, he had to help her with favors, seating charts and programs, so I had to help him with those things, according to her. She also said to get ready to help with thank you notes after the wedding.
4. She said if I was a true best man, I would offer to pay for the bar bill. I don’t even know what that means.
5. She had to approve my speech before the rehearsal dinner and wanted to be include as much, as my buddy. She told me to make up things if I had to. I was also NOT allowed to include anyone but the two of them and no inside jokes or stories about my buddy that didn’t include her.
6. Her last text said to tell my wife to keep it together and not make a pregnancy scene during the wedding. Also, she wanted her to choose a dress that downplayed her pregnancy as much as possible.
“I was just so aggravated, I spoke to my friend to see if he could reason with her. He told me to just play ball on this one, it’s her day and to cut him a break, because he’d be dealing with her nonsense for the rest of his life. I was annoyed but calmed down.”
“The day of, all the bride and my buddy do is scold me, berate me and bark orders. I head down to the bar for a drink…the bride’s mother is there and warns me not to get drunk because I’ve ruined her daughter’s day enough. Final straw.”
“I didn’t give them the card with the cash and in the speech, I used my friend’s exact wording about having to deal with her nonsense for the rest of his life. I wished them the best and told him I’d always be there for him, especially during the divorce. AITA?”
One user said: “There is a time and place for a smart mouth, saying it in a wedding toast is an A-hole move, even if it is super truthful like right now. Saying it in a wedding toast is not a good move. You should have confronted them when the wedding ended and cut off contacts. I get why your buddy’s wife wants the center of attention to be on her (I have read too many posts about people stealing attention at weddings) but some of it is just unreasonable, like wearing a dress that doesn’t reveal too much? That is absurd. As I said, confronting after should have been the best decision, and if they don’t apologize then cut contact, and find yourself a new best buddy.”
While another commented: “ESH But listen. You are my hero. Also, be aware that your friendship might be over if not for any other reason than that the new wifey will make it so.”
What do YOU think?
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.