We know the division of parenting labor is rarely equal, but this is an extreme case. One mom of a 2-year-old was so conflicted with her situation that she took to the Reddit community to ask, “Am I the a**hole for not forcing my husband to do hands-on childcare yet?”
The woman begins by explaining that she needed to travel for work and asked her sister to watch her son while she was away.
“My sister is a freelancer with a flexible schedule and says she’s always happy to watch my son for me, but this time she got kind of….hostile? with me over how it’s my husband’s ‘job’ and he needs to be the one doing the night care,” she writes. The mom went on to share that her husband isn’t a fan of the “baby stage.”
Mom Wonders If She’s Wrong For Not Making Husband Be Hands-On During Baby Stage
“My husband (like a lot of parents!) isn’t super into the baby stage and prefers not to take on the bulk of the hands-on parenting yet. He’s really excited for the “kid” stage to start in a few years, but prefers a more traditional parenting dynamic for now.”
She adds that she isn’t bothered by her husband’s actions and feels like it’s quite common. “I just don’t feel like our situation is out of the ordinary? Or that my husband is any worse a dad than any other dad I know!”
The mom continued, “All of my close friends with kids also work, and I don’t really notice their husbands being any more ‘active’ about parenting than my husband is.”
Over 400 Reddit members commented with most being outraged that the father is simply opting out of the first few years of his son’s life. “Ma’am that man is responsible for this child at EVERY STAGE, not when he feels like it,” commented one user. “You’ve let this go on for way too long. It’s more than his turn. Your sister is right.”
Hopefully, the feedback was insightful for this hardworking mom.
Katie Nave is a freelance writer, producer, and mama living in Brooklyn, New York. Driven by her passion for storytelling, she is always seeking opportunities to elevate people who are working to better the world around them.
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