One woman is asking Reddit if she is the a****** for declining to teach her boyfriend how to do chores after they moved in together.
“I’m 20F, and my boyfriend (23M) has always lived at home where his mom did most (all) of the chores. He moved in with me a few weeks ago, and asked me to help him ‘learn’ how to [do] certain things,” the OP, Original Poster began.
“I started with cooking, I figured that would be one of the most useful skills to know for him. So every night when I’m cooking he ‘helped’ a bit, with me explaining why and how I do things. That has been the first two weeks or so. This week I told him to try himself without help, I found some easy recipes of foods that he likes, and left him to try things out.”
“Every single night this week I’ve had to do a big part of the cooking. Because he ‘doesn’t know how to cut this,’ ‘doesn’t know how to do this,’ or ‘it tastes better when you do it.’ I’m tired of it.”
“And that’s just cooking, I’ve been doing almost all the other chores myself too. So I told him I’m done. That he’ll do his own laundry, cook every other day, and do the dishes on the days he doesn’t cook. That he can ask certain things, but only if he can’t find the answer himself, and I won’t show him / do it for him.”
“He got upset because ‘relationships are about helping each other,’ but I feel like he doesn’t want to learn and just push things off on me. I’ve shown him how to make French toast twice, but he still claims he ‘doesn’t know how to do it.’ I even wrote down the recipe! I just want him to put in some effort instead of expecting me to do it all.”
“I’ve talked this over with my mom, and she said I should be grateful he’s even asking to learn. My boyfriend thinks I don’t want to help him with anything. I think he’s a grown man and shouldn’t need his hand held the entire way, especially with simpler stuff.”
One user shared: “NTA. Google Weaponized Incompetence.”
While another commented: “I mean I’ve started teaching my son when he was 2 how to help and do household chores. He’s now 4 and helps regularly. Knows where to get things for cleaning if he spills and how to do/use them. At his school (where I work) the kids literally wash their own dishes after breakfast and snack. He’s more incompetent than a 2-year-old. In your 20s you can figure out how to use Google search to teach you.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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