One user is asking Reddit if they are the a****** for refusing to return their $400 wedding dress per their fiancè’s request.
“I (f27) have been with my fiancè for 2 years. He’s 32, divorced [and a] doctor and lived in another town but we moved in together 7 months ago and got engaged. Unlike my exes, he’s a decent, level-headed guy though he can be a bit overdramatic when it comes to financials.”
“Growing up I’ve always dreamed of what my wedding dress will look like. I went wedding dress shopping with friends although my fiancèwanted to go with me like he always does but of course he couldn’t. I purchased a really really nice wedding dress that I instantly fell in love with. It is perfect in every aspect and it only cost $400 that’s a great deal since wedding [dresses] tend to be expensive here.”
“When I got back and was so thrilled my fiancè asked to see it then asked how much it cost. When I told him he was in dismay and started complaining saying I wasted that much money on a colorless dress that I’ll wear for just few hours and should’ve bought a $150 dress or less. I said no wedding dresses are [a] huge deal to every bride.”
“He argued about how weddings and everything that come with them are just part of the laws our society keeps enforcing on us and that only smart brides save money instead of blowing it all on… a dress. I replied that I didn’t appreciate how he belittled my joy with the [dress] and he said he didn’t think he is entering a marriage with a financially responsible woman which is a huge problem and demanded I fix my mistake and return the dress and get a cheaper one asap.”
“I said that was ridiculous since I worked and paid for the dress with my money and also I care about the type of wedding dress I want to wear [on] my big day and every bride want to look their best in their dream wedding dress he obviously has no idea. He laughed at me asking if I was even listening to myself talking like a spoiled 16-year-old about her ‘future dream wedding.’ He said I was wrong for not consulting him about the dress before buying it otherwise we wouldn’t even be having this discussion.”
“Long story short I refused to return it and he pitched a fit calling me irresponsible and childish for being okay with blowing that much money on a dress even though we’re doing well financially but he was having none of it. He left after saying I have xyz days to return the dress and we’ll talk. He texted saying he doesn’t understand how I’m choosing a dress over him and acting inconsiderate of his feelings since he’s the one I’m marrying and not the g****** dress.”
“He hasn’t talked to me since then and [keeps] redirecting my messages and calls. AITA?”
One user said: “NTA, he exhibited controlling behavior. He doesn’t get to decide what you do with your money and he can’t force you to return things you buy. His opinion doesn’t matter more than yours. He seems to think otherwise, which indicates a more profound problem. His attitude to decision-making is inherently flawed. He is at the top of the hierarchy and you’re at the bottom. Don’t you see that? I don’t know why he thinks this way, maybe because he’s a man, maybe because he’s a doctor, etc. Your balance of power seems off. He can veto your purchasing and decisions later in life, in every aspect. He thinks that he’s entitled to rescind your decisions. He thinks he knows best and he’s the decision-maker. I can imagine it in the future when your decisions will involve your kids, and then it’ll get complicated.”
While another commented: “NTA. Is this really the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with?? A doctor who hounds you for a $400 wedding dress?? You’re not even worth $400 to him. Think about that. Reading this reeks of the beginnings of financial abuse. He DEMANDED you return a dress you paid for with your money. What next is he going to complain you spent too much money on?? Shoes? a TV? Couch? Food? Clothes for your future kids?”
What do YOU think? Be sure to comment below.
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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