Former Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky-Manno is opening up about the recent miscarriage she suffered. While on Instagram, she began her statement by saying, “I am 1 in 4.”
According to Tommy’s, it is estimated that “miscarriage happens in around 1 in 4 recognized pregnancies, with 85-percent of those happening during the first trimester. A ‘late’ miscarriage, which is much less common, may occur between weeks 13 to 24 of pregnancy.”
As Fedotowsky continued, she admitted she didn’t really know what to say and that she was “just gonna speak from the heart,” as she sat in the parking lot of her OBGYN where she was to have a follow-up. “I had a miscarriage recently,” the mom of two told her followers.
“I’m not sharing this because I feel sorry for myself or I want others to tell me they feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I feel sad for what could’ve been. Sad for the baby that was growing inside me. Sad because it’s sad. I want to share this because I think it’s important. I’m so uplifted and encouraged by the way I’m seeing social media change. Change from being a place where everyone shares the highlights of their life and now being a place where people share the good and the bad. The smiles and the tears.”
As Fedotowsky continued, she explained that it’s a long story of how it all happened and she’s not truly ready to talk about the whole experience. In fact, she admitted she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be ready to share the intimate details of that day.
Nonetheless, the mom did share a few details of what all happened. “It happened early one morning when I had intense cramping. I passed the gestational sac, which was the size of a plum, in my bedroom. I was in complete shock when it happened. I sat and stared at it for hours, not able to fully comprehend what happened. And the utter exhaustion that took over my body in the few days after that was almost debilitating. Actually, being completely exhausted for weeks was one of the first signs that I was pregnant.”
“I’m writing this post to let others know who have experienced pregnancy loss know that I see you and feel you,” Fedotowsky continued.
While she believes her loss isn’t the same as someone who was further along in their pregnancy, or someone who has been trying to conceive for years, she wanted to point out that everyone goes “through different emotions” and processes “the loss differently.”
“But what I found so shocking about my experience is that it affected me so much harder than I could have imagined,” Fedotowsky wrote. “So know that if you’re going or have gone through this, your feelings are valid, whatever they may be.”
In an update, Ali thanked her followers for the love and support she and her family received. She also revealed why she didn’t want to share her story.
“Almost all of the reasons I didn’t want to share, ended up being the exact reasons why I knew I needed to,” she wrote. “Grief and shame tied to miscarriage go beyond what I originally thought people felt shame about when discussing miscarriage, at least for me. I never quite realized part of that shame was feeling like you didn’t deserve support afterward. So thank you for reminding me and helping me see that it’s OK to feel supported at this moment.”
Our thoughts and prayers are with Ali and her family during this difficult time.
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