It has been more than four months since Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss died by suicide and, much like the rest of the world, his wife – Allison Holker Boss – is still struggling to accept and believe it. She recently sat down with TODAY’s Hoda Kotb to talk about how she – along with their three kids – navigated his death.
“I still feel like the rest of the world where I’m still shocked. No one’s ready for that moment and there’s no one that saw this coming. No one — and that breaks my heart too,” Allison told Kotb after her husband died by suicide on December 13. “I eventually had to tell myself, I can’t change anything that’s happened.”
She praised Stephen for helping her learn ‘so much about love and gratitude’ and described him as ‘one of the most magical humans.’ When asked how she remained so strong after learning of his death, Allison said she doesn’t ‘really have any other choice but to be strong’ and that she does it for their children.
Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss and Allison Holker Boss started dating in 2010, got engaged in June 2013, and tied the knot later that year in December 2013. Not long after marrying, Stephen adopted Allison’s daughter from a previous relationship and the couple added two more children in 2016 (son) and 2019 (daughter).
Allison struggles to accept the fact that her husband was struggling in silence. “He wanted to be the strong one for everyone and I think that was a little scary for him to think that he might need to ask for help. He really wanted to be everyone’s Superman, and he said that a lot,” she said to Hoda Kotb.
One of the toughest aspects of Stephen’s death is having to explain to her children that their father is gone. “It’s honestly something I wouldn’t wish for anybody. It’s really hard. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that communication is key,” she said – adding that they’ve had to have some ‘really hard conversations.’
To help them navigate his death, Allison explains that their father is in the stars and takes them outside at night so they can talk to him through the stars. Still, she struggles to find an answer when her kids ask, “When is daddy coming back?” or “But does he come back when he’s older?” because they miss him.
Allison Holker Boss Still Talks to Her Husband Daily
One of the things that helps Allison Holker Boss is that she still talks to him every night – as if he never left and is right there listening to every single word. She still tells him about her day and often asks him questions – knowing he can’t respond, but hoping she’ll one day be met with ‘this big aha of answers.’
“Sometimes it’s just like, ‘I took the kids to school,’ other times it’s a little bit deeper, little more heavy,” she tells Hoda Kotb of the conversations she has with Stephen. “I don’t allow myself to be in a place of anger or sadness, though I allow myself to feel it. I’m feeling this much pain because I’ve had so much love.”
Allison also gave a big shoutout to Ellen DeGeneres, who has been a ‘huge support system’ for the 35-year-old. She likes talking to Ellen about the many great memories they have of her husband – allowing them both to relive some of those memories so they can keep his spirit and legacy alive and well.
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Moving forward, Allison Holker Boss is honoring her late husband’s legacy through the Move With Kindness Foundation – which she launched earlier in 2023. She looks forward to spreading awareness about mental health and helping people ‘feel comfortable asking for that help’ when they need it most.
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