Alyssa Scott and Nick Cannon lost their 5-month-old son, Zen, to a brain tumor this past weekend.
“Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here,” she began her heartbreaking caption on Instagram.
“I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening,” Scott went on.
“These last 5 months we have been in this race together. We would hand the baton off to each other. You kept me going. It would be the middle of the night and you would smile at me. A surge of energy would fill my body and pure joy would radiate from within me,” Scott continued. “We were a team, both determined to see it through. It feels unbearable running without you now. I can’t,” Scott shared.
“And in this moment I feel myself being carried. By your sister.. By God. By complete strangers encouraging me to not give up . It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy.. I will love you for eternity. 6•23•21 – 12•5•21,” scott concluded.
Cannon, 41, announced his son’s death on his talk show, sharing with his listeners on Tuesday, “Today is a special one y’all for many reasons but it’s not gonna be an easy one. I haven’t even shared this with anybody, not even the crew. I had a very tough weekend.”
He revaeld how Zen, his youngest and seventh child, was taken to the doctor at two months old due to his enlarged head. Doctors found fluid in the baby’s head and discovered a malignant tumor requiring brain surgery.
“He had this real interesting breathing and by the time he was two months old I noticed…he had this nice sized head, I called it a Cannon head. We didn’t think anything of it, he had a normal Cannon head. But I wanted to take him to the doctor to get the breathing and the sinus thing checked out,” Cannon said. “We thought it would be a routine process.”
Zen went on to have surgery and was given a shunt to drain the fluid, which made Cannon and Scott feel “faithful and hopeful” at the time, but the infant would go onto face more difficulties around Thanksgiving.
Cannon said he was able to see his son for the last time this past weekend.
“I didn’t know how I was gonna handle today but I just really wanted to grieve with my family, people who love you. I didn’t want to make it about any pageantry so I kind of went back and forth of what I should do but I was always taught, you go through it you grow through it, you keep pushing,” he said. “I’m here to show that I can fight through this, I’m feeling it, I’m vulnerable, I’m open. this is a special show dedicated to my beautiful son Zen.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.