One mom is asking the interwebs if she is in the wrong after her preteen daughter refused to watch her cousin — and it turned into an incident.
“My sister has a 1 1/2 year old son. Ever since he was born, she’s tried to get my 14-year-old daughter to babysit as she wants them to be close even though they’re so far apart in age. My daughter has declined as she doesn’t want the responsibility of someone else’s kid, especially if something were to go wrong. My sister doesn’t get it despite multiple people (myself and my daughter included) telling her.”
“Yesterday we were at our parents’ house for a BBQ. It was mostly adults with a few children varying in ages but my nephew was the youngest. All throughout the bbq, my sister kept trying to get my daughter to hold him or feed him, which my daughter declined. At one point, I went in the house to help my aunt and mom with drinks and sides.”
Everything was fine — until it wasn’t.
“15 minutes later, I hear my sister shrieking. I rush outside and she’s holding her baby, who’s face is bleeding. Her husband is nearby, trying to take the baby to administer first aid. My sister is shrieking at my daughter to “put her damn phone down” and “you’re in a lot of trouble”.
“My daughter looks terrified. Finally, BIL takes the baby and goes to tend to him. I get both sides. My sister went inside to pee, asking my daughter to watch her son. My daughter said no, ask your husband. My sister says she told her to just help out and it won’t kill you. My daughter flat out told her no and my sister left knowing daughter was looking at her phone. The yard was filled with adults, all of whom day they were keeping an eye on the little one but at some point they lost track. My parents have concrete steps leading to their backyard. Somehow, nephew tried to walk up them, tripped and scratched his face. He was fine in the end, just a few scrapes.”
And after the traumatic incident — the sister demanded that the OP punish her daughter despite the very clear boundary.
“My sister kept demanding I take my daughter’s phone and asked what I’d do to punish her. I said nothing because she said she wasn’t watching her cousin and there were half a dozen adults who should’ve been watching him, specifically his father. BIL even admits that it’s on him and he screwed up but my sister kept blaming my daughter. We left right then and I told my daughter several times in front of the family and alone that it’s not her fault.”
“My sister is still mad at me and my mom says I should have daughter apologize. I said no, she did nothing wrong. My mom says that it wouldn’t have killed my daughter to watch him for 2 seconds. Am I being an ass?”
One person said: “Gotta add this is some stellar parenting too. Supporting her daughter’s autonomy, supporting her resistance to coercion, backing her up 100% with unwavering boundaries despite FaMiLy! Awesome. NTA.”
While another commented: “NTA. And I would go further and send a text message, so the next time this kid gets hurt, your sister doesn’t try to pin it on your daughter. “I want to make this clear. My daughter is not required to watch your child. She will not now, or ever, be watching your child. So plan accordingly. Your child is your responsibility.”
What do YOU think? Be sure to comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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