One person is asking Reddit if they are in the wrong for admitting the reason behind not inviting their parents or siblings to the wedding to their grandparents.
The OP (original poster) starts off saying: “I’m my parent’s only kid together. My dad had three before me with an ex. My mom had a crappy relationship with them from trying waaaay too hard and would put so much pressure on them to accept her that it alienated them.”
“Even some extended family said she acted more like a stalker and in the end I was the person it all got taken out on. My siblings didn’t care for me, were kinda dicks when I was younger and left me out.”
“As adults, they still have no interest. But my parents were pushy about me still trying, and my mom would complain about things not working out. They did very little to protect or shield me from how my siblings felt about me too. So in the end I distanced myself from them.”
And because the OP is having a major life event — they felt they didn’t need people there that didn’t love and respect them.
“Now I’m getting married and didn’t invite any of them. My grandparents asked me why and I told them, the whole truth, about how I was treated by my siblings and how I feel my parents failed me regarding that.
“They had no idea how bad things had been for me with my siblings, and especially had no idea that I was expected to suck it up. They went after my dad (their son) and told my mom if she had just accepted that relationships build on their own instead of forcing stuff, we’d all be better off today.”
“My parents were super pissed and reached out to tell me how I shouldn’t have dragged my grandparents into this, how it’s like someone running to snitch on someone and it was an a**hole thing to do when I had already cut them off.”
So the OP decided it was time to cut off contact.
“I told them I was asked a direct question and gave a direct answer and that it’s not like they hadn’t known some of it already, they just finally got an insight on what it was like and I had done nothing wrong. But they have been harassing me about it so I blocked them on everything (I had taken them off social media but never blocked because they were good about not contacting me).”
One person commented: “NTA. Totally agree with this and also they are just lashing out because they finally have to face their sh**** behaviour. They were the adults in the situation and so they deserve being called out for not supporting you and your siblings enough or putting their own egos aside to co-exist as a blended family. I am from a majorly blended family. My mum passed away 6 years ago, all of us are adults now but dad’s new partner of 4 years has never tried to take over or force us to interact with her. We all have great relationships with her because our relationships were built naturally. Your siblings and yourself aren’t at fault but you parent are. Don’t let toxic family ruin your day. Surround yourself with people who love you, support you and build you up. Family is not just defined by blood. Congratulations on your wedding and I hope you have an amazing day.”
While another said: “You can speak up about whatever you want to.. If they wanted you to speak warmly about them, they should have behaved better!”
What do YOU think? Be sure to comment below.
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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