A female sent me a message telling me my husband was unfaithful: How should I handle this?

Hi, can I please remain anonymous my husband and I have almost been married for ten years and have two beautiful girls under six the other day I got a Facebook message from a girl who told me my husband is a cheater and slept with her threethree weeks after our wedding. She is no saint. She went on to tell me specific things like when we first separatedseparated when my daughter was born five years ago he was seeing her before the separation and during a bit of it then after that all they did was chat when we got back together. During these messages the other day there are messages from him and her speaking sexually about his privates, and he has mentioned she is getting him “hard.” I have seen Those messages myself. Then while we were on holiday, she has told me that he text her to say our marriage won’t last long, that was a few months ago now. He also apparently met up with her during a work trip last year and apparently only talked. I am devastated he would do this. I also mentioned the message about him talking about our marriage won’t last to my cousin, and she told me that he actually said that as well to my cousin’s husband a few months ago, so I know, that is true. Why isn’t he facing up and telling me it’s over? He is acting like nothing is wrong this girls engaged now and moved on she told me they chat a lot I just can not do this again, but I am holding out on ending things as it’s Christmas soon and don’t want to wreck it for the kids and also want to allow myself an exit plan . Please give me any advice I really need it p.s she told me as apparently her new fiancé saw the messages and told her I deserve to know the truth

81 Likes

I say hold on till the first of the year so your children can have a nice Christmas and in the meantime start thinking about what you want to do and then I say call it quits because if he’s been unfaithful with her there’s probably more. It’s so sad how disrespectful he is to you and your children. If he’s been doing that since you was married he definitely doesn’t care about nobody but himself and with all of the diseases going around I say dump him.

7 Likes

As soon as Christmas is over END IT!

11 Likes

Make it thru Xmas while getting things packed and ready to go. Does he leave for another trip soon? I would have him come back to a empty house and change the locks but leave the keys inside😁 sorry, if a guy is being a cheating dick then it’s on!!
But maybe ask a family member if you guys can sleep on their couch while you get your work and living arrangements dealt with.
The state needs to know too. And they can help with alot of resources.

5 Likes

Get all your ducks in a row. Confront him nif he lies. Walk because you have it all covered. Cry. Pick yourself and keep moving.

5 Likes

Maybe He ended everything and she is angry.

6 Likes

I say he’s a liar & a real jerk… what I don’t like…he told his brother in law about it… but pretending with you… Doesn’t look good, cheating is bad… if this person moved on.whos to say he doesn’t have someone else waiting in the wings… please think with your head and not your heart… get a plan together quickly. & Start saving $$$$$ because he might already have one…

Get a plan in place save money figure out where you’re going to live then leave him. Never leave someone before you have a plan you don’t want to struggle you’ll be worse off and make sure you get a good counselor lined up you’re going to need it believe me I’ve been there I’ve been in an on-and-off relationship I find p*** dating sites chats between women with him and why do I stay because I love them and I’m stupid and because there’s kids involved but that’s not a good enough reason at some point I know I’ll get the courage to leave but financially I can’t do it right now. No judgment just wish I could do what I’m suggesting you do which is to leave because once a cheater always a cheater

I’d defo say do Christmas… Maybe get the girl to send. Few of these messages as evidence to you or do your research and find out facts etc as it might help you piece things together then ene it hun you deserve better

Start planning and making arrangements to leave. Once a cheater always a cheater. This was not a 1 night stand. Plus talking that shit behind your back. No hon sounds like the only thing he hasnt moved is his cheatin ass out of your house. Attorney up first b4 he does. Star stashing money

Wait until after the first of the year. Meantime get everything together. God Bless. Hugs for you. Things will work out for you.

1 Like

I’m on my exit plan too. It will take a while but for the best. The whole next year, don’t even bother yourself with his shit. Crash course on yourself, your health, your money and your career. If you don’t have one, get one. Take courses if need be. And don’t worry about the kids. This relationship will affect them negatively. They need a mom who is happy and mentally healthy. Right now, he is stealing your energy that you need for them.

As soon as the holidays are over, serve him divorce papers. Have your exit plan ready and evidence gathered for the upcoming custody arrangement there is gonna need to be. Keep in mind that both of them are trash. Him for being a lying cheater and her for being a knowingly homewrecking whore. I agree your kid’s come first and to wait till after Xmas but in the meantime put everything in place and nail that sob to the freaking wall!

8 Likes

Keep making a fantastic exit plan and focus on your own character.

4 Likes

Start lining your shit up. Put on a happy face for your kids and let them enjoy their Christmas and then tell him somebody has to go, either him or you. I was with a lying ass MF for 9 years and I finally opened my eyes got my shit got my kid and shot the deuce …

Let him know you know what up and if thats true fess up you never know with crazy ppl too i would end it as soon as christmas is over like literally that night dont give him the power keep all of thise screenshots and everything mean while get your stuff together find a place girl that is a long time to be together and then him say that you deserve so much better im sorey i hope it all goes well

1 Like

For Christmas gift yourself with the best divorce attorney you can find!!

2 Likes

Well this is what I would do: Rent me a storage locker then call a loyal friend and have the friend help pack up all that you want to claim as yours. Go apartment hunting. Once moved out contact an attorney and file for a divorce. They all work on a payment plan once you pay their retainer fee. Get a visitation schedule in order and child support order in place. And be prepared to fight or agree. Get all your evidence in order before going to the attorney. Narcissistic people hate to lose and they also hate getting caught lying and cheating. Good luck

5 Likes

U all women are fools to let a man treat u like this. Good luck. He wont change. Ps happily unmarried. I would rather be dead than married

4 Likes

yes do your exit plan and carry it out. I’m not sure staying till after Christmas is necessarily good for your kids, but plans might take a little while. Get an attorney who wll get you some support and to put custody in writing. Best to be prepared for any surprises,