I’m a mother of a two year old, and I’m still with my daughter’s father, and we’ve been together for four years. We have had more downs than ups being together. At this point, I know he will never change. I’m currently going to start going to counseling for myself because I want to become a better person and a better parent, of course. I want to leave my baby father, but it’s hard because he’s been the only support that I have had. I don’t speak to my parents; they are not in my life. And I’m just so sad because I want to leave him so bad. But I won’t have anywhere to go with my daughter, and I NEVER want to give up my rights for him over my daughter because my daughter is my world. I know I can get a job a full-time job, but it’s going to take a while. I just need help at this point in knowing what to do. I just want to be happy with myself and my daughter. How do you single mothers do it? With or without support from your family.
It’s always going to be hard. It’s never going to be easy. But I can guarantee it will be worth it. Look into single mother options. Go look up subsidized housing. Consider using your tax return money to get your own place. Figure out what you need to do to get where you want to go. Use this time and plan thoroughly. If I did it, then I know you can.
Stop counting him in for money…first get a support job.
you take it one day at a time!! start putting up money… get your own checking account or savings account… i recommend you reconciling with your parents. but honestly you are going to need help with baby. Me and my husband moved away from everyone we know it was just us and let me say this its hard… your going to need help.
I apologize about the length of this comment: I’ve been a single mom for 10 years and I will be honest, it has not always been easy. When I left my ex husband and father of my children, I also was not working. I was in school so I used left over loan money to get by for a month until I found a job. As a single parent, there are resources available like food stamps and daycare assistance etc. Check with your local family support division. It was never easy for me to ask for help especially as a single mother. I never let my kids know the struggle though. Be willing to sacrifice your wants for your childs needs as a single parent. I remember a time where I had literally no furniture and could barely put food on the table but I always managed to feed my kids. My advice would be to start the “single mother” process before you leave your husband if that is the way you plan to go. Do your research on resources that are available for single mothers. Begin applying for jobs or looking at jobs you’d be able to do. Decide if you will want home daycare or a daycare center for your child and research how much it will cost. Daycare is expensive either way. The road was and is hard for a single mother so be prepared for that. If you can, put money aside to save for your own place. Leaving a spouse requires planning…i wish I had planned it better. But, on the other side of it: As a single mother, I put myself through college and earned my degree, I have a fantastic job that I worked hard for by working my way through the career field, and I found love again after I fixed myself. So…while the road of a single parent is HARD…it is not impossible to survive and thrive. Good luck to you!
I left my daughters father after 3 years i started applying for income based apartments so i had somewhere else to go. It is so hard to get ur self to leave but it is a huge relief once you finally do.
Get your full time job before you leave and then go from there
I am a single mom to 3 year old twins. Their father has not been involved since they were 6 weeks old. It gets easier once the dead weight is gone and you can flourish and heal as an individual.
There are many programs out there that help single mothers. Contact your local county office and see how you can get help, most of those programs also help with therapy.
It’s hard but it can be accomplished. You have to have a plan. Write some stuff down and go from there. Also, give yourself a realistic timeframe for each individual step. Just know that you may have to go back periodically and rewrite some things. Think about the outcome you want not the obstacles.
Ok well unless he’s actually abusive to you and to her you shouldn’t be thinking about just leaving him in the dust. She is still his child too. So I suggest talking to a therapist and also talking to your partner about how you feel! We’re only getting one side of the story here.
Definitely think you should write down all of your goal’s. Prioritize them based on what is the easiest to accomplish and what will take the longest to accomplish. Start working on the ones that take a long time while accomplishing the smaller and easier goals. There are many programs all over to help single mom’s. KEEP YOUR FAITH you’ll have to swallow your pride a lot during the process. MOST IMPORTANTLY DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!!
I am a single mom of 8 year old twin girls. My ex was a sociopath and cheated on me when I was pregnant. I took was miserable with him and had to leave. Its the best thing I ever did. I have never been happier and finally have peace in my life.
Its hard but you can do it, if I did it with my twins. I had my parents support luckily but woukd still leave if I didn’t have them. U can do it
First and foremost , you will need some kind of support because no one can do it on their own. Right now just find a job and work it. Save money any way you can. Will you be informing him that you want to leave or in the future will be leaving? If not stash your money. Your daughter will need to be put in daycare do that she can adjust. Maybe the both of you can Co- parent. Both of you can sit and plan pick ups, drop offs, weekends and most of all financial. I raised four on my own. He did not support them in any way so I heavily relied on daycare, friends and family. They saw that I was serious and on top of my game. Once you get situated it will hopefully get better. God is good. Not easy but can be done. Speak to the dad and try to compromise. Wishing you lick on this journey
Don’t work it out with him
Sign up to go back to school online and take out the maximum amount of student loans. Every semester you’ll get back around four grand. You can choose to work full-time or you can stay home with your child. You can save money for a comfortable life or even apply for a first-time home buyers loan but you can usually put about two grand down on. The possibilities are endless and it would give you Financial stability without having any support system. Do it online so you can be at home.
Is there a shelter you could stay at? Sometimes they help you get a job, a place to live and furniture. Good luck💜
Get a job and leave if you aren’t happy. Why stay with someone you don’t want to be with? They support you isn’t a good enough reason. Everything else will fall into place.
Save up for your own place first, then leave… every day is a struggle but it will get better with time.
Start working out a secret plan. Start out with part time job or do some side job to make money to put away. When you ready to go , you will have money. Make sure you have a car under your own name . You can not go anywhere without transportation. Have to get use to being independent . Do not rely on a man , even if you are marry to them . They can turn and dump you in a sec. get your own money own bank account . If you can’t take care of your kids on your own , please do not drag them out there with you, until you are ready . Kid need a safe home that they are use too.