Advice on divorce with kids involved?

I’m a mother of 4 kids; I was married to my kid’s father for two years until we split three months after we married. I am trying to move forward with a divorce, but last year he wasn’t taking it so well. He ignored it & kept threatening me. He is currently in jail & soon to be released from it. He nor his family denies the kids are his, so he never saw them until he’s drunk he says he wants to see his kids. I never allowed him to see his kids at all with him being in that condition; he was very abusive to me & verbally towards the kids when he was drunk. I met someone last year & now I’m expecting a child. I don’t know much about divorce with kids involved. I need some help …


You do know that since your married your husband has to sign paperwork denying paternity before your current guy can be put on there ?


You need to first get a restraining order. Then, you can get the divorce by filing it. You can look up the forms online.


Always do what’s best for the kids

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Why didn’t you get a divorce while he was in jail? If you’re married your husband night have to sign off his rights.


Usually at some point a judge will declare divorce even if he doesn’t sign … divorce and custody 2 very separate things tho …

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Are you in Australia? If so you don’t need his permission to divorce him! You go to Federal Circuit Court website, register, complete paperwork, then you need a copy of ID & any concession card plus copy of marriage certificate…then get it all certified by police or JP and then upload, pay fee and file!!

Once returned with courts seal, you need to serve a copy on him and then wait till court date- that’s it!! It’s quite sad how easy it is actually

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File ASAP so you can have him served while incarcerate also a restraining order for you and the children tell tbe authorities you are in fear if him. Have you ever reported the abuse if so then you should have a paper trail that will help you… My X did me the big favor when he called 911to report some BS abd when they showed up he went BYE BYE haven’t seen him only when i was subpoena to testify against him for abuse… Good luck.

I hope you’re not in a state that wont allow you to divorce due to being pregnant

Okay lemme get this straight your mother of 4 kids, but you were married to your kids father for 2 years but you also divorced him 3 months after you married him?? :thinking: If you divorced him 3 months after you married him than how were you married to him for 2 years. And if your already divorced than why do you want to still get divorce? Sounds very confusing. And your pregnant again with his child or another man’s? Seriously write more clearly!


I’d push the divorce to be filled while hes in jail and get a protection order


It all depends what state ur in. I left to another state where my husband isn’t needed for anything that I do that doesn’t involve him. Laws are tricky. But because u are expecting that def helps you out a lot. Restraining order first. They’ll hand it to him in jail asap.

Stop having children :stop_sign: :raised_hand:


So, YOU HAVE 4 kids with a man in jail you were married to only 2 years! And you Say you want to put the kids first BUT you are not divorced & are pregnant with yet another mans child!! How do you expect the 4 current siblings, all with the same maternal & fraternal family members to treat this new one? Your kids will suffer the consequences of Your actions😢. Your jail man is legally the father of your unborn one unless he signs papers. Your new man will have a hard time coping with this life you have drawn him into. Advice: you need Jesus & a good attorney!


Lawyer lawyer lawyer. Even if you think you can’t afford it, you can’t afford NOT to have one with kids involved.

How were you married for 2 years before splitting 3 months after getting married? That doesn’t make sense.


You really need a lawyer but I have to say it isn’t looking good. They are right that while married the paternity of the baby is your husband’s automatically. That means the bio father is going to have to do DNA test and go through the court and everything else. That means he wont automatically be on the birth certificate either. I dont know about all states but being pregnant while still married here basically makes getting full custody harder as well because there is proof you were “unfaithful in your marriage”. Of course we also dont have an abandonment clause or anything so…my advice is get a lawyer and file for restraining order and get any proof of threats or hurting you ready and available.

When I was amid a divorce and found my now husband, I had a child with my now husband. My lawyer didn’t want to proceed with the divorce until I had my child and my then boyfriend, now husband had to sign an affidavit establishing his parental rights. Then my baby was written into my divorce as not being my exes child. Also, my ex husband never went to a single court date, it took a little longer because of that but they eventually gave me my divorce and everything I ask for, including sole custody and visitation to my discretion. Even years later when my ex tried to get me for “not letting him see the kids” ( I also have a permanent restraining order written into my divorce) but because of the way it was written there wasn’t anything the courts will do and now his children are old enough to decide whether or not they want to visit him and they all say no but because he keeps showing up to court dates they are making his children take therapy because he keeps persisting he wants to fin,ally see them after 5 years. All our situations are different. But since biologically the child isn’t your stbx it would be the best thing to see if you can have the real father sign an affidavit at the hospital.

This entire post is confusing. Have you filed the paperwork for the divorce already? If he was threatening you why didn’t you go to the police? Do you have proof he was being abusive to you? Divorce and custody are going to be two different issues. Chances are he will still get visitation.

I dont understand the beginning of this post.
You were married, and after 3 months you separated…yet u said you were married for 2 years…and have 4 kids…I dont understand any of that…it makes no sense. I’m sorry
Anyway…contact a lawyer. That’s your best shot at figuring it all out. This new man of yours is hopefully strong enough to deal with all the stuff going on. But girl…get a lawyer, and talk to them.
Hope you reported his “abuse” in the past. Paper trails are always best to have in these situations.
Best of luck.