Advice on filing for divorce?

My husband and I have been married for seven years, and I want to go through with a divorce. We had a four-year-old daughter, and I make enough on my own that I don’t qualify for child care assistance, but don’t make enough to pay the mortgage, 195 a wk for child care, food, and bills. My husband makes double what I make, and so he currently pays all the bills and costs. Because he is a subcontractor, he itemizes his taxes and pays his taxes at the end of the year, which due to writing everything off, he makes less than what I make in the paper. I am afraid that although he has a lot in savings, I will not see a dime in alimony or child support. He gets his checks and, at the end of the year, pays taxes owed, so how would he pay me child support if on paper he isn’t making any money, but he really is. I’m afraid to get a divorce and be in the worst spot that I know. The reason I want a divorce is that he likes to stay with his brothers after work and drink heavily and come home and start fights and be very verbally abusive. My daughter is asleep when he comes home and does this, but I’m afraid he is never going to grow up and change is that he is 32 this year.


If you want a divorce, find a cheaper place to live and ask for child support and if he don’t want to pay don’t beg him just take care of your daughter by yourself. Don’t let him see her. Go on with your life and you will find someone that will make you and your daughter happy

There should be a spot on tax documents that show income before deductions/right offs

Depends on location and the judge. There is a loophole for what is filed and on paper. I ended up paying child support after he made more than twice what I make now. Know the court does not have the children’s best interest in mind. It’s a business.
If you can work out the details and be civil to each other, the better. Good luck.

File and figure it out as you go. Sometimes struggling to get on your own feet is worth so much more than any money could ever buy…I left with nothing…asked for nothing. Rebuilt my life, on my terms, on my own. I wanted nothing from him.

Focus on getting a lawyer, they can help you navigate in your state.

Divorce is hard. Keep documents of everything. If he deposits his checks directly into a joint bank account that may be able to be used to help as far as child support is concerned. Mostly, all I can suggest, is stay strong and true to what you know to be the best for you and your daughter. Remember, at the end of the day she is what’s most important.

I just went through the same thing but I took my ex to trial so the judge could hear everything he did to me & called me. Get a good lawyer. The judge will make sure you are taken care of. Child support is to cover child expenses plus half of daycare, maybe even alimony. Once you file for divorce, ask judge to grant you immediate temporary spousal support while the divorce is ongoing. Your attorney will know what to ask for to help you temporarily and permanently.

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First of all you need a paper trail of said abuse and misconduct. You need to call the police and start documenting EVERYTHING!
Don’t tell him right away. Let him build your case against him.

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The best thing to do is sit and talk with a divorce lawyer . They will do a low cost or free consultation & give u a break down of what to expect. Child support, alimony, spousal support everything . In sc they make you wait for a trial (abt a month) then they’ll do a support case where he will make up the difference in keeping you & your children living within the means you’re currently accustomed to until the divorce is finalized then support will be re-evaluated.

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Also- free consultation with a lawyer! Give them all the facts and ask about anything you could do to acquire evidence that will LEGALLY hold up in court. RECORD HIM! Video and audio. Hide money outside your home with someone you trust. Family member, friends coworker etc. No paper trail with cash so he wont know. It will be there when he inevitably refuses to cooperate.

Plan, plan, plan. Seriously get your ducks in a row. Now if you dont have the time or the strength for the long game (personal experience and I had no ducks nor rows of any kind- it’s been rough) , you need to get a short term solution and some kind of support system asap. Be realistic, know your limits and get prepared, like yesterday. You need to live as though hes already gone and so is that money.

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If you are still in the home, start keeping a paper trail. Copies of checks he gets from the GM on the projects, bank deposits, etc. have an exit plan.


It dont matter she is in a bad spot wont see a dime of nothing not worth i.would just chalked it if i knew better ive spent so much money on attorney court cost fees a lawyer for my divorce it just wasn’t worth it at the end is almost $10,000

Is it possible to just accept that you won’t get any child support from him? I may be wrong, but in pretty sure there’s nothing you can do about his writeoffs and income less than yours. That’s between him and the government.

When you go for divorce, you are going to have to apply for maintenance.But it depends on how much is left after all his expenses are deducted.I hate court cos they seem to be mostly on the father’s side in my opinion.Luckily I didn’t have a child with my ex-husband, it makes things less complicated if you dont

Maybe talk to him about your thoughts and feelings if you haven’t already and suggest marriage counseling?

If he pays taxes and reports a income at the end of the year child support would be determened from that amount at least thats how it works for my ex husband who is a contractor.

Keep records, document all the checks and what you know he spends it on.

But also…fix your money situation. Regardless of whether or not he’ll be ordered to pay, it takes a long time. I’m betting you wont want to share a home with him once you break the news.

Make more money. However you can. Go back to school. But whatever you do make sure it’s part of a long term solution that adds to your life goals and helps make sure you’re stable and available for your daughter.


Depends on your state. My situation was very much like yours and I got 115$ a month for 2 kids/ but then my ex just decided he was done one day- and there was nothing I could do, I haven’t received a dime in over 8 years- and my ex hasn’t lived up to anything in our divorce agreement- and unless I go sue him/ I am stuck.

He will be forced to pay either way. And as long as you can prove he has income you’ll be fine