Advice on getting full custody?

So my son is now 12 yrs old his father’s been in n out of the picture, I’m now married with three other children. I finally got full custody of him 2 yrs ago as well as finally put him on child support, as much as I hate the fact that his father appears when he feels like it I can’t keep my son from not going with him like out to dinner or sleep over I just can’t. He pays 75$ week child support 35$ is for the babysitter as per court…in the 10 yrs of his life I never asked him for anything…on top of that child support is through the direct court deposits…he never pays anyway…I told him he never worries about our son if he needs clothes shoe haircut or things for school…he tells me that’s what child support is for…I told him u seriously think that’s enough? And he doesn’t even pay it…when he does take him he buys him toys or takes him to fun things like golf or adventure parks…but never worries about what he actually really needs… My husband and I worry about all that. I thank god I got full custody. Now am I overreacting that he’s such an A.H.? what should I do? When he does tax, the back pay on child support does come to me, but I have to wait all yr for him to help and that if he works o,n the books. I think if ur child needs something it shouldn’t be oh that’s what child support is for? wen it ain’t really shit I’m not asking to spend it on me…of course, w.e I have $ from his child support I pay the babysitter and use the rest for grocery, or if he really needs something but trust me it doesn’t cover it: me n my husband been doing this since day one. I’m just upset and fired up he can get away with shit like this. b.c he can show up when he wants I really wish he wouldn’t it’s hurting our son I should say my son …but my son doesn’t see it yet, and he loves him right now B.C. His dad buys him with what he wants that I can’t afford. My daughter’s father lives in a different state she was born them but moved back to my home town since she was one now 9 I want to get full custody, has anyone gone through the prosses do you go to court in the state that u live in? And how do you serve them in a different state? He has nothing to do with her at all no child support no nothing.

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Child support and visitation are separate. I get what you’re saying just just because you moved on doesn’t mean your son has. Let him have his dad in his life. You can’t confuse your emotions with what’s right for your child.

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Abt your daughter file in your state but it’s only going to be prolonged if you don’t have his address so the courts can get in touch with him

At Least as a father hes making memories with your child give him a break its not always about money

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Go to the courthouse in the town u live in. They will mail him the court papers to the last known address u have

And Abt your son don’t complain if he buys stuff for him when he does see him just be thankful he’s visiting. If the father keeps doing like you said he did as your son gets older he’ll know what’s going on.

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You would need to look up the laws in your state. What I can tell you, that true for every state, is that full custody doesnt stop visitation. Being out of state, youd likely have to meet halfway, and you could not request he pay for your travel.
I’m confused that you say he pays support but then you say he doesnt pay? If you are receiving child support then he does pay and legally that’s all he’s required to pay directly to you. Just as he spends his money during his time, you’re responsible for spending your money during your time. It’s never enough, to cover everything a child needs but moms always find a way to make do.

Child support isn’t for material things it’s to help support your child. Hate men with that mentality

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Your son loves his dad, he is suppose to love & be allowed to love his dad. Regardless of how frustrated with his father being irresponsible with child support. That is a problem between you adults. Your sons relationship with his dad has nothing to do with it.

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My opinion. You cant control what other do or dont do. But no matter what a child should Always always feel loved by his parents. Always. Even if the parent is a piece of crap, you never say that to a child. That is his father. He knows amd will understand later dad did the fun stuff. No child can have to much love. My daughters father…well im sure he didnt give her a second thought. But i tild her how much he loved her, how he tried more than i had ever seen him try. My mother told her, her dad hated her. Yep, my mother is not allowed around my kids. She wanted to look like a good person, she looked…well pitiful and graceless

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Unless you go back to court, nothing you can do

Why do you care if he is paying child support?

I think it’s really disgusting you sit there and say “or should I say my son”. No. Not just your son. He loves his dad, and you should in no way try to change how he feels. It’s not about money. You do what you have to to make ends meet. You have full custody. Be grateful he has a relationship with his dad, many children would kill to have there dad around. You sound very selfish and money hungry. I hope for the sake of your son you do not bad mouth his dad to him. Because in the end you’ll end up being the one he resents.

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Is this about your son or your daughter? Good gravy lady. You sound super selfish.

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I’d be grateful that your son’s father visits.
Sorry but money child support is supposed to be his share of the child’s needs , so if you get $75 per week ( even if you do have to wait ) then you add your $75. Not bad support for a child.

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Ummm well… not sure why you are combining the 2 but for your daughter you’d go to your local child support office and file it. And they will do the rest even if its oug of state

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Dragging a child into adult problems absolutely no need. He still needs his dad and always will. Contact between them should be between them and only you. Money problems are your issues not your sons.

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Omg I personally think if you have full custody then he should not have to pay anything just saying you wanted full custody and stop talking bad to your child about his father that will only hurt him if he is a bad father he will see it on his own with time

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So… Is this about your daughter or your son? Cuz that was nothing but a rant about your son’s father. Who you already have full custody of. You can’t do anything about your son’s father, you just need to let it go. It’s not worth it to stress over.

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He is called a Disneyland dad. My kid’s dad is the same way. He will only pay child support because I force it through the state. Will not help pay for anything else. He even is supposed to pay for medical bills that he refused to pay. I am glad my kids are old enough to know he is and will always be a dead beat dad.

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