How do you all handle bad attitudes with a child going through puberty? Should it be handled the same way as if they weren’t? I know there are a lot of hormones and emotions with puberty, and I do not want to damage my and my child’s relationship at such a vulnerable time in their lives.
Good luck. But sit down and tell them you know what they are going through. Qnd your there no matter what decisions they make and can always call you.
You’re so loving and concerned it’s great but children need to respect others no matter what they’re hormones are doing. Talk to them about appropriate behavior, guide them. But you can’t be afraid to discipline them
My plan is to acknowledge the emotion, reinforce that we all need to remain respectful and that it’s totally normal to be feeling how they’re feeling let us know if you need a snack or a nap. It’s a team effort.
Basically just look back at your own phases and think about what you needed.
They still know the difference between right and wrong. We all understand, we have been there but it is not an excuse to be disrespectful. Point… they get an attitude with my husband, but not me. That right there shows me they can make a choice. It’s all on you and what you decide to let them get away with. You are their parent,not their friend.
I’ve always loved and gone by the manta of loving but firm.
Patience, understanding, make sure they know you understand what they are going through but don’t put up with bad attitudes, back talking and not doing what is expected. I could help more if you mentioned if it was a girl or a boy, there is a huge difference. Also make sure they know what they are going through is puberty and that everybody goes through it.
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I tell mine if they can’t be nice, be quiet. I’m teaching them to not speak in anger. Calm down, be rational, and then come back. I also do the same. If I’m getting frustrated, I step outside and reboot. We are human, not perfect but disrespect isn’t allowed.
I just had an emotional exchange with my 13 year old son, I’m a single mum and his dad just recently reached out to him after 3,years, creating deep emtion, I got heated, I was defending my mom status, but as soon as I realized why he was reacting the way he was, I confronted him and gave him a hug , then talked to him for hours about his favorite game, they really are us without the mental maturity to evaluate their true emotions, I sent him to his room for a nap, and after he came down and apologized for taking it out on me, to which I responded, that’s my job as a mum, and no matter what, were in this together and I’ll always love you, and never leave as a parent, we have to be a rock that they can always know will be there
Do some research on parenting styles, specifically authoritative parenting in adolescence. Google scholar has some decent articles. It really helps to understand a bit about what influences their thinking and interactions at that age.
Hi! I would say to let them be. Do not try to force them to make them feel a certain way. Let them express themselves and make their feeling valid. Many children struggle to express how they feel and they feel like their feelings are not valid. Try to keep composed and be understanding.
It really depends on what they are doing. When its emotional attitudes, i make us hot chocolate and sit down at the table with her and listen. I tell her “ok kid, talk”. If shes being disrespectful and out of control, I stop her, and put my hands on her shoulders, and tell her i know this time of the month sucks, and theres a lot going on, but you are really hurting my feelings right now. I want to help you, but this is out of our control. So please, go calm down, and come find me when you can be nicer.
This is a great time to teach them emotional intelligence. Just as we are not born to walk we aren’t equipped to recognize or handle our emotions in adolescence. Be patient, give them grace, and have many conversations that help them figure out what they are feeling and teach them healthy ways to handle each emotion. Set guidelines and boundaries making unacceptable behavior clear and offer redos when they make mistakes. Punishment will ultimately make things worse. I highly recommend looking into trust based relational interventions (TBRI)
It is truly changing household for the better.
Honestly…this isnt someting i look forward to…i think i will just send her to my mom…lol…forgive me…but i just dont know how i will deal with a crazy teen!
In my house, you’re allowed to have all the emotions … but you’re not allowed to be disrespectful!
My son is as grumpy as hell some days, I pull him up on his attitude and remind him who he’s dealing with, he will leave the house in a complete sulk and come home and give me a hug and apologise:slight_smile: he’s gone from being a really bright in the morning kind of kid to a post apocalyptic zombie he’s hilarious!! Remember to show them it’s the behaviour you don’t want not the child behind it!! Good luck
I have no advice. My daughter is 12. Send help lol.
Good luck is all I got!!
Rules are rules. They still need guidance. Remember u are the parent not their friend