Am I being selfish for wanting my boyfriend to get a better job?

I’ve been with my partner for four years now, and we still don’t live together as we live in different towns about an hour away. He’s an amazing father to his two children and my own two kids, and we all get along very well. We are a family. I would like us to live together, but his job is an hour away from me and his home town. The wages ain’t great, and neither are the hours as he works every other weekend, so the only time we get is one night during the week and every other weekend together. I’ve been fine with that at the start as didn’t want to rush, but it’s getting to the point of plans to actually be together in one home. I’m not willing to move as my children’s schooling is in my town, and we only have his kids every other weekend. The main issues are he does love his job, but he’s been offered a job that pays triple what he earns a month. He said he’s thinking about it but loves his job. But logically, he is home every weekend to have his kids more and have a lot more money to cover travel expenses. So could actually move in full time. I want him to be happy, but I don’t know what to think because taking this job means we could actually be together as one whole family in a home and not just part-time. And the money would help so much with bills and him being home means I’m free to have more options on work if he’s here I can do nights without having to pay a fortune on childcare. And still, be together. I don’t see any downfalls to having in taking this job offer, but the only thing is he loves his current job so much. And don’t want him to be unhappy but then I’m unhappy because I can’t see us ever living together with this job he’s at now. Am I selfish in thinking he should leave his job for a better paid one?


Pretty sure his town has schools as well…


I’ve worked jobs I’ve hated, and now have a job I love. Loving what you do is life changing. Having a job that pays well but is soul crushing is not worth it, imo.


You and him need to have a serious sit down and discuss your future… TOGETHER.

Compromises will have to be made to make this work between the two of you and all children.


First of all, I would not make any major decisions like that if marriage is not on the table. Second, I didn’t hear anything other than me, me ,me me and more ME


As I read this all I see is…me, me, me, me. It’s not just all about you and what you want.


Stay separate- better for both of you.


You want him to move there for your benefit pretty much is what I’m getting out of this lol


If he don’t like the new job,he won’t be Happy and come home cranky,I been with my husband for 29 years trust me let him work where he wants,say he changes jobs he don’t like it so he had attitude and looses it it or he brings the attitude home


You want him to pick up and move and change jobs and what do you do in this situation? It seems like hes the one who has to make all of the changes. You should be willing to make some changes too.


Have u tried asking him what HE really wants instead of pressuring him with the me me me attitude??


Loving your job is important. This is coming from a preschool teacher. I could work retail and hate my life or make less and love every minute I’m at work.


Yes you are being selfish all Im reading is you want this you want that you ,you,you …


You want him to move from his hometown and leave a job he loves to take a job making more money so you can change shifts and save money on childcare. Why don’t you move and take a job making more money if you want the relationship to work so bad? There’s nothing more draining than working a job you hate. Money isn’t everything.


Move to him.
He may not be confident enough to change jobs or he may love his current job

And you have to compromise some too. You’re wanting him to make all the sacrifices for you but aren’t talking about what you could do to help the situation


Yikes … lol …
Maybe he doesn’t want to move in with you . You kinda sound a tad bit selfish… and girl , I’m not being mean but maybe he don’t wanna be your babysitter either . Sounds like HE’S happy with how his life is . You sound money hungry and he’s your meal ticket…
Here’s an idea… GET YOUR OWN GOOD PAYING JOB . . Let him raise his kid in peace. Yours aren’t his responsibility and clearly he dont want it either


Instead of making him change careers, why don’t you consider changing careers and move in with him there? Alternatively, he could keep his job, move in, and deal with the commute. When my husband and I started dating and moved in together, he drove an hour to and from work every day for 1.5 years until we moved closer. He decided it was worth it to be with me. If neither of you want to put in that kind of effort, you’re probably not meant to be.

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Asking him to change jobs to better suite you in the long run may make him resent you ! And if the school system is good where he is wait till summertime and move ! My coworker is moving across the USA with her two kids this summer to be with her bf which is the dad to one of her girls

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This is kind of selfish in my opinion. If he loves his job, then that’s what matters. I worked a job I HATED for 9 years because of the money. And I wouldn’t do that to myself again. His city has schools. You should really talk to him about this and not us if this is a serious conversation.