Am I doing the right thing by leaving my relationship?

I first met my husband when I was 16. There’s a five year age difference. He showed interest in me immediately, and we’ve basically always been in a relationship since I’ve known him. We got married when I was 18 years old and have now been married for nine years with three kids. During our relationship, he’s never really been affectionate, and over the years, I’ve basically been the main one to handle all the household chores, kids, and work too. I feel like he’s taken me for granted a lot of the time and has put me through an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I lost myself due to marrying young and having so much on my plate. I’ve never really felt like I could speak up when something was bothering me either because my husband would either get upset or not take me seriously. I told him so many times I needed his attention and affection. So, I snapped at him a couple of months ago and told him how I was feeling. He got upset and didn’t talk to me for a few weeks. I do have to admit the reason I finally snapped was that I started talking to a coworker who made me love myself and feel like this amazing person. I felt unappreciated in my marriage and honestly made the mistake of letting my friendship with my coworker go too far during the weeks of silence from my husband. When my husband found out about my feelings for a said coworker, he started making a lot of changes, though. But I was already emotionally gone. I haven’t felt in love with him, but I’ve stayed because of our kids, and although I continued talking to my friend, I stopped everything inappropriate about our relationship. It’s been a few months of us trying to make it work, but the other day he gave me an ultimatum. I had to either quit my job cold turkey and stop talking to my friend, or pack my things and go. So I told him I would do as he said but that I was leaving too. I need a break. I feel hurt that I’ve stayed with him feeling invisible and unappreciated for years, and when it’s just been a rough couple of months, he basically tells me to do as he says or leave. I feel a little scared but relieved at the same time too. I know I made mistakes in all this too. Am I doing the right thing by leaving?

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Sounds like you were already alone and by yourself for all of those years, you’ll be ok. Blessings.

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Yes just make sure your bring your children

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I think you are doing the right thing, if the feelings aren’t there there is no point in staying. He can still have a relationship with the children but don’t suffer and stay because you think it’s better for them. Trust me when I say it’s not. Stay strong, you will get through this and be better for it! Good luck❤️

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Just leave. And be with the coworker. Take ur kids with u. Go to court coparent…and move on. If ur decided then it makes this easy

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I feel like ur more so telling us ur plan,than asking for advice. Dont wait around for someone to try and change ur mind.

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No one can tell you what to do that is a decision you have to make for yourself.

Sounds like the 7 year itch. You both got comfortable and let life get in the way. Did you remember to date one another while married or did you put kids and everything else before maintaining and nurturing your relationship together so you had a Solid Foundation to give to your kids and everyday life?

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No offence but there are 2 sides to every story. Especially being in a long relationship. It does sound like you are lonely. But it also sounds like he was willing to change. You do t want to be in the relationship that is your decision and it isnt necessarily a wrong one but I guess it comes down to if you want your relationship to your relationship to gain love back again. You did also make a choice to connect with someone else during your marriage. You made mistakes as well

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If you feel that’s best, then you are absolutely doing the right thing

I would Leave. but I wouldn’t Get with the coworker Any time soon! you need to Be by urself For abit first Thats my opinion dont leave and Jump into things with the coworker.

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You cheated on your husband which is just wrong

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I stopped reading when you said you were talking to someone else. If you are that miserable to betray him, then yes you need to leave. & tell him why. Give him the whole truth.

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Yeah sounds like he’s just using you honestly. Take your babies and go:)

If you’re at a point where your relationship is unrepairable and this is affecting your well being then I say yes, you will be fine. It will be hard but ultimately you have to do what’s best for your family as a whole. Staying together for the kids is not necessarily what’s best for them either. I wish my parents separated years and years ago. My mom stayed w my dad because of us, but unfortunately what she didn’t realize was how she was modeling unhealthy relationship habits to us. I was in a terrible relationship when I was younger and it was completely toxic yet I stayed for 5 years because I learned from my mom that no matter how bad a man treats you, you stick with him. It took a lot out of me to break that cycle and I suffered a lot of trauma for years.

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Leave, take time to find yourself, to love you and your kids, blessings.

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You lo be ok just go and be happy

Yes, leave. Spilt whatever is needed. Peacefully leave.

YES! Leave! He cannot keep you from being happy!

All I heard was “ I cheated with a coworker and I’m pissed my husband doesn’t want me around him anymore” you should leave. Not because you’re getting the raw end of the deal, your husband is…

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