Am I wrong for wanting my husband to back out of his his vacation house?

Can you please post anonymously? When I met my husband, he had just purchased a vacation home with his parents, right before meeting me. We are now married with 3 kids. He also has three other siblings who all have children, but they do not pay for the house at all because they did not go in when they bought it. His mom lets any and everybody use the house without asking us. They sleep in our bed, use our room, and it just bothers me. I find it to be unfair that we are paying half of the mortgage for a house, but his siblings all use it whenever they want or my inlaws friends free of charge. My husband would have never bought this with his parents if he had known we would be together and start a family so soon. He doesn’t want to upset anyone by backing out, so he just continues to pay for this house. It bothers me so much that money we could use for a lot of other things is going to a house we never even go to. My question is, what would you do, and how would you feel? Am I wrong for wanting to get rid of it?

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It’s his decision that was made before you were together. This is not a hill you’ll want to die on.

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It is up to him not u so there for u just need to ride with it. And if he don’t want to pay for it then he wouldn’t be paying for it.

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It happened before you were with him. It’s up to him if you don’t want to hear about it then tell him to do something about it. I would stay put of it until your name is in it with his and your now married to him

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Seems like ur trying control him its what he wanted at the time & if he didn’t want 2 pay he wouldn’t suck it up buttercup, dont get people that are bitter over everything.

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Anyone who says it was before her…
Ummmmm anything financially becomes joint after marriage, she has a say so. She just has to be reasonable.

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I would offer to have one of his siblings take over the payment or start a airbnb to make the payments, his siblings can work around the airbnb schedule

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If his name is also on the mortgage he has to pay his share. He can always padlock the door to his room.

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I don’t think you’re wrong. It would bother me that other ppl get to enjoy it for free while you all have to pay for it. You should have a say in every guest and I definitely wouldn’t want other ppl on my bed.

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Agree with others here, this was done before you were in the picture. If you can’t afford it then he needs to talk to his parents. Even if he doesn’t sell his half, he could still speak to his folks about renting it out instead of letting people stay there for free.

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While it was a decision he made before he met you, I agree with you that the other adults using it should at least pay for the nights they stay in it. (Just as anyone else would, if they were renting it for a vacation night). Discuss it with him. If you can afford to pay the mortgage while maintaining your family and 3 kids…then Pick your battles…touchy situation.

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It seems as though the vacation house has became a financial strain on your family. Maybe your husband should discuss selling the property with his parents.

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I think he needs to just stand up to his family and tell them no one can stay without speaking to him first since he pays half the mortgage

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If something happened to your husband they would probably expect you to pick up the payments so yes it is your problem too and I say it is time to talk to a lawyer about both of your rights

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as a former agent, it depends on how the house was bought. In some cases, he can sell his portion, in other cases the person that holds the deed is the only one that can sell it. Determine first, what his legal rights are.

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I would make it a point to simply start using the house more

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That’d be a convo you have together and joint decision :slight_smile: pros cons all of it. Hopefully you can come to some kind of decision. Gl

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I would ask his siblings if they want to divide his portion up between them if they’re going to use it. If he’s paying half he needs to tell his parents only they can use it or have his siblings pay. Or ask about selling since he has equity in the home.

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Get the siblings to buy him out. Tell them they use it so it’s time to start paying up.

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So is this more so because you guys can not afford it or is it because his siblings are using the house and sleeping in your room for free?

If it’s the first one, have your husband speak to his parents about it. If his siblings want to use it, that’s fine but they can help contribute to it with a small portion for when they are there. If it is the second one,request they stay out of it and ask before staying in it :woman_shrugging:t2:

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