Am I wrong to be upset that my step child came to my house while sick?

So I am engaged to my SO and father of my five-week-old son, I am currently a stepmother to a beautiful 6yo girl also. I don’t have a good history with the BM because we don’t see eye to eye on many different things. With that being said, my stepdaughter has been super congested and sick on and off for well over a month. She has constantly said that she’s either been to the doctor and that she’s fine or that she’s been on medicine and that she isn’t contagious or some other excuse. This past week and weekend, she stayed over at our house for the weekend, and before she came over, I asked her if she was 110% healthy because, again, my son is only five weeks old. And she assured me that she was fine. When she came over Friday night, she seemed fine, so I figured that BM told me the truth. Then Saturday morning hit. She had the worst sounding cough, and it didn’t go away, and the same thing happened Sunday morning… fast forward to yesterday morning, I woke up with the baby and he was congested and coughing. So I sucked the boogies out of his nose and watched him closely until that night when he DRASTICALLY took a turn. We took him to the hospital, and he ended up being okay after several hours of waiting and plenty of tests being ran… my SO reached out to his BM this morning (1/29) and told her that she should take her to the doctor again or let him take her and now she’s SWEARING that she’s fine and that we are overreacting. Is it right for me to feel like she doesn’t care about my son’s health? Or his well-being? I honestly feel like she was very reckless sending their daughter over knowing that we had a newborn and that their daughter was still sick.

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Imo you are being dramatic. Kids get sick esp in winter. Can’t not see her because she is sick.

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My daughter was “sick” last year from November-April. Off and on. When your in school theres no avoiding the germ pool. Let me ask you this…if she kept her home would you then be bitching about not seeing her on your time?

in my honest opinion, just because you and BM don’t get along, let your husband talk to her. i would be PISSED if someone let their kid around mine sick, but l feel like she will twist it like well my daughter needs to see her dad blah blah

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The child has to see her dad sorry but if you had siblings for your son would you send them away when Poorly course you wouldn’t same rules apply suck it up

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I don’t personally see a problem. I see where you’re coming from. But if the SD was full time living with you, what would you do if she is sick? I have a SD who lives with us full time and a bio who is now 10 months and I’m pregnant. It’s tough having sick kids around. But your SD is family and if it’s your weekend she shouldn’t be kept away. That’s just how I see it.

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Y’all need to take her to the dr, the bm doesn’t have to care about YOUR sons health, but she obviously doesnt care about her daughter’s so step up and get her care. Kids get sick. Daddy can take initiative too instead of losing time with his kid because shes sick

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Yes you are wrong. If your fiancé had full custody, you wouldn’t be able to just kick her out because she’s sick. You can be irritated with BM if you think she isn’t managing the child’s illness, but you can’t bar your fiancés flesh and blood child because she is sick.

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I mean it’s definitely an inconvenience but we don’t just stop seeing our kids because they are sick lol

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Why is her father not able to take her to the doctor? And also why can a child not come spend time with her father while being sick if she’s not running a fever I don’t see the issue it’s winter time people are congested as I’m assuming this new baby is your first child. And it’s not sitting very well with me that you said you are currently a stepparent. What do you mean by currently if you’re going to be marrying her father you are going to be a stepparent and she’s going to be with you sick and healthy that’s part of the package

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Kids get sick… It’s normal. You are a soon to be parent of 2 kids. You can’t kick one out when one’s sick and the other one isn’t.

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Your husband does not get to take time off because his kid is sick. Sorry.

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Who do you think normally takes care of your step daughter when she’s sick? BM does. You don’t get to stop parenting because your child is sick. Your husband shouldn’t want to either. If she was your daughter would you send her away to someone else’s house because she was sick and you had a new baby? She didn’t send her daughter on a play date. She literally sent her daughter to her father.

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Dad should be taking care of sick child too not just the mother…so what should she do only send the child when shes not sick… idk… I think her Father should take her to the Dr himself because that’s parenting responsibilities bit that’s just me

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I think if it’s a court order child care situation that the child should come over either way. Yes it’s sucks that she’s sick and it’s not the best idea for her to be around the baby but if she was in school and was yours, you wouldn’t be so upset. I think you are projecting not agreeing with the mother on the child. The child will feel like you think she isn’t welcomed at your house and that’s not something you’d want. She will think the baby is more important.

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Im stuck on why Dad needs permission to take his child to the doctor?

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Your SO can deny visitation. The BM is just following the custody agreement. She is not “sending” your step-daughter. She is following court order. Kids have lingering cold symptoms and its no big deal. This is the first time in countless your little one will be sick. You are over reacting, if its this important to you have your SO deny to see his daughter.

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If it’s his time to have his child, then it’s his time to have his child. It’s when you have to lysol the house and it sounds like something that can’t use a doctor for anyway and just have to ride out. I think you have to do what any parent does when another sibling in the house is sick, lots of handwashing, lysol, disinfectant, and sanatizer. You’re not a daycare you’re another home this child resides at.

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If it your own daughter what would u do w her if she was sick. Keep her w you at home. No difference. Never missed a visit w my stepson in 18 years. Sick or not. I even took him to the doctor if needed. He was mine just like my others

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You’re in control of your own emotions, a lot of crap is going around so the child can’t help it. Just make sure he or she covers their mouth and keep stuff clean so it doesn’t spread.