Can a 12 year old for sure know their sexual orientation?

She may or may not. I don’t think her age will play into it. Some people as adults can’t figure it out. Just talk to her about the birds and the bees and keep her safe and comfortable. Ask how YOU can help her in any way she may need. Be her support :slightly_smiling_face:

She’s probably known for years

I would think so, maybe let her talk with someone but tell her if she is you will still love her no matter what .because I’m sure it was hard to say that to you.praying for you to have strength

Give your 12 year old some Barbie dolls and tell her to go play. Take the phone away, take the internet away and make her actually be a 12 year old. At 12 they shouldn’t even be worrying about who or what they are attracted to sexually. We become furious at pedophiles, yet we are telling our kids it is okay to decide who you are sexually attracted to at 12. SHE IS 12!!!


Just be open. Just be there. At her age, it doesn’t really matter if she is gay or not. She should be comfortable being herself, in whatever form that is.

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Honestly how could they know unless they have had sex. I say let her feel like she thinks she like girls and see how it turns out. Really it’s so popular to be gay these days


It’s been proven that by this age nothing is fully developed let alone their sexual orientation. I don’t understand the logic because they’re not old enough to buy a lighter they’re not mature enough to drink alcohol but they are mature enough to make a decision about their sexual orientation and sex?


Yes. Also possible for her to not be sure and just be exploring. All kids are different. But it sounds like she’s sure.

i knew at age 7 i was gay so she can absolutely know! she knows what she’s attracted to and nobody can tell her different!


Does it matter? Just love her. It wouldn’t change anything anyway.


I think some are confused about when they see the word sexual preference they automatically assume sex. It’s a preference in sex as in female or male. You can have a crush on someone that age and not think anything sexual. So yes it is possible. If a 12 year old knew she liked boys would we be having the same question?


I think yes in some cases, in other cases it can be very confusing for them. Just tell her you love and accept her no matter what her sexual orientation, and if she changes her mind as she gets older and realises she is bi or actually straight etc, then follow her lead. It’s all very confusing nowadays with the internet, and I think that most 12yo girls aren’t really having sexual thoughts (I wasn’t at that age so I don’t know how different it is for others) x

i think everyone can atest to having many identies through this crazy life. dont think too much into it, jsut support her every single day. if she wants to be a cat one day, let her. she is 12, so she is going through that scary part of life where independency and insecurity mix and create a slowly erupting volcano. you just have to be there every step of the way showing her that you love her and support her. who she loves, what she wears… alll that stuff doesnt matter, its your support that does.

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Just support her. Who’s cares if she’s old enough to know if she’s gay or not. Until she hits the legal age in her country to have consentual sex, she is really just exploring all sorts of possibilities. She may say she’s gay now, but she may change her mind,. Or she won’t. It doesn’t hurt you as a personand shouldn’t change your attitude as a mother.

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Why can’t a 12 yr old figure that out? Even before the internet kids that age knew that about themselves. Before cell phones too.
Help ur child, educate urself and support that child. In this day n age it’s all u can do

I have a friend who knew when she was five or so. Came out as bisexual in highschool. Later came out as homosexual. Sometimes when a person knows, they know. People might be apprehensive to make a definitive decision for fear of judgement, repercussions and lack of self assurance.

It’s possible for sure that she was seduced and brainwashed to feel and believe so. But don’t let that tear you two apart. Don’t treat her any differently and don’t try to change her mind, just continue to love her and support her. She may be sure of it today but she might change her mind in the future. She might fall on love with a man and form a beautiful family, and she might not. Pray.

I don’t have a 12y nor am i gay. But maybe explain to her that it doesn’t matter if you like girls or boys or both. Once she has dated a few she will know for sure which she prefers. But to never feel like she needs to come out and explain her choice to you. And to know her family love her regardless.

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It can change over time, some people come out as gay only to later end up in heterosexual relationships

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Just tell her she can be attracted to whoever she wants to be attracted to and that she doesn’t need to label herself as anything yet. She may like guys and girls, she may just like girls, she may change her mind as she gets older. I just wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. I had 2 ‘gay’ friends in my teens who both now have male partners and children. It’s a confusing age. Just support her :heart: