Can I do anything about my ex husbands family talking badly about me?

I need some advice. My ex-husbands family is slandering me in front of their children, and according to one of my daughters, will not allow them to speak of me when they are with him—some backstory. We adopted twins when they were 5. My ex and I split last year and since then have had 50/50 custody. Here recently, one of my daughters (8 years old) has decided that she will not come back to my house after being with her dad and his family. I believe this is due to the slander that is occurring. What, if anything can I do? We do not have a legal custody order in place at this point, so that is my next step. Thank you for any advice you can give!!


Your next step is the internet? Really? Get a damn lawyer… THAT is your next step…:woman_facepalming:t3:


You need to get legal custody asap…and I would talk to a lawyer too, she is way too young for that decision




You really need legal advice get a lawyer asap

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You don’t have a legal custody in place so therefore your ex can and is allowed to keep the child and go anywhere he so chooses , you screwed yourself not having a court order beforehand , and she’s 8 and old enough to choose whom she wishes to stay with ,maybe it’s because of you honestly ,only getting your side in this story and possession is 9/10 of law !!!

Get those girls into therapy ASAP. Document everything. Get a lawyer.


He’s harming his kids by playing those mind games. That’s not OK. Get legal advice fast!


You can’t change any of what they do, not who he has you guys children around or what is said or done around them. Unfortunately it’s a long hard road you are on but it’s really important that you try to worry less about what they are saying about you because that’s out of your control Unfortunately, so you need to focus on what is in your control. Protect your children.
File for legal guardian or primary legal parent, your 8 year old isn’t old enough to decide where she wants to stay, but wherever she is thriving is where she needs to be. Divorce wrecks children. And although you will feel she needs to be with you, you have to honestly ask yourself is she safe, is she neglected, is your x abusive to her was he abusive to you in front of your children. It sounds like he is being emotionally abusive to you to control you. His family could have said to your daughter we don’t talk about your mom cause she’s not here or something like that. Little kids can get confused easily from stress in this situation. You need to get a lawyer to go to family court and set up custody, visitation, child support and so you have a legal leg to stand on. I’ve been through it and it is hard but you be strong for your children and you will get through this. Best advice i can give you is to keep your cool and if your x tries to instigate anything with you Don’t engage, just focus on your kids and take care of yourself.


If the court hasnt decided the custody yet, you shouldn’t allow him to take the kids. He could easily take them and disappear. Get a lawyer.

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So sad to hear. My parents split when I was 3 but my mother was the one who constantly slandered my Dad and his family. I remember all the twisted things she did to make sure my sister and I couldn’t ever see him or the whole half of our family. Sad when grown adults use their kids as a pawns to be vindictive, cause the kids are the ones that are affected by it. From what I remember my mother doing, document everything, including dates, and apparantly yes a child psychologist helps and they will document what the children have to say, which will be used in court. Sadly in my case, my mother coached us on all the bad things to say about my father before visiting the psychologist, which I understand now was very wrong and evil to do, but at the time was too young to understand. Just remember through it all what the children may be feeling or going through, they love you both and want to be with each of you, but the situation of parents seperating is hard to process for children sometimes. Be as understanding as possible, but yes since your ex is being vindictive, legal help is necessary immediately.

Yes, legal custody is best. File for full custody and child support. You will make all the decisions when it comes to the kids and he can have visitation rights every other weekend


Get a custody, placement/ visitation order made threw the courts. Be sure to make use of a GAL for the children’s best interest.


Yep! I’ve dealt with this first hand before. You absolutely MUST get to your local superior court house and get going on a custody order/parenting plan! I would recommend getting a declaration page and stating what you just said on here about slander and the issue with one of the daughters not wanting to come back home. The only way a judge is going to know thats going on is it you write it down. Good luck!


Depends on state most states don’t allow a child to decide until they’re in their teens


Yeah you can set some healthy boundaries with your kids and then let it alllll go. They’ll come around when they’re ready. Keep communication open, shower them in love and light. But let the negative melt off of you.

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This is similar to a situation I heard. Only difference is her kids were willingly extorting their mom.

Get the custody order but do NOT tell him!! Document everything!

It needs to start with a sit down discussion with you ex and his family, no matter how uncomfortable that may be. Set healthy boundaries. If this doesnt end and you feel the need to take legal action, do that.
People talk, you can’t control that, but they need to learn to have respect so your kids can be raised in the healthiest environment possible. But just don’t run and take the girls away from him without trying to figure things out like adults first. That’s so unfair to do to a child and their other parent.


Your next step is family court and to apply for a 50/50 custody if you apply for full custody you probably won’t get it. Go in there being the reasonable one.