Can we do anything about my husbands daughter/mom canceling visits last minute?

Ok, I’m the second wife of my husband and currently with two kids with him. He has a 12 yo daughter who lives 2 hrs away from us. My husband pays child support for her, he’s supposed to see her every other weekend, but the daughter and her mom just change plans at the last moment. Sometimes (obviously when it is my husbands weekend), we (including our children and I) are on the way to see her (we pay for hotel and gas), and they don’t care about we are going to see her both cancel at last moment, or if the daughter wants to go with friends she just go, if she wants to be with her nana (moms side) she just stay over there no matting our travel time, our spendings, or knowing is father and daughter weekend, etc and mom doesn’t say anything to consider that her father needs to see her and spend time with her. Can he really do something about this? They have 50/50, but it seems like daughter and mom don’t care about this …

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Read Divorce Poison!

You will have to take her back to court for contempt. She isn’t following the court order for visitation

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Girl enjoy the vacation. Teenagers have have their own plans.just saying

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In some states the court will take the childs wishes into consideration if they are 12 years old. Just dealt with this with a friend of mine

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Just another major complication of complex relationship situations!

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She’s 12 more then likely will be up to her not the mom

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You could go to court for violation of the order and force the visits. But you are also risking her resenting the hell out of you for it and making the visits miserable. Also in most states at age 12 they can decide and he could loose the set weekends. I’d have him talk to the mom and tell her no more plans on dad’s weekend or back to court. Not much else you can do.

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She’s 12, if she doesn’t want to go the mom doesn’t have to force and if I was you guys I wouldn’t force her to spend time with you. I wouldn’t start the drive unless you get a confirmation that you can pick her up and definitely wouldn’t pay for hotel for a 2 hr drive. Tell the mom to meet you half way.

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We would no longer go get her. If she wants to come her mom can pay to put her on a train :woman_shrugging:t5:

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A hotel room for a two hour drive is a bit over the top isnt it?
She is 12 and would rather be hanging with her friends… remember 12?
Don’t make a fuss, call and chat to her about her day. Video chat with her a few times a week. Stay connected anyway. Release control…it will only end badly for you.

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Or maybe once a month stay at hotel and invite daughters friends to go swimming at the hotel pool…

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If you have a court ordered agreement, then yes, she’s in violation of that agreement. If there’s no court ordered agreement, then unfortunately you have to go to court first and get the agreement in writing. Then she can’t pull this crap. Good luck!

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It’s not fair to the daughter to not be able to have her own plans and see her friends/do activities she wants. It’s not her fault the parents are divorced. I would talk to her and see if you can readjust visitation agreements that accommodate her wants too.

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Both of them are old enough to know it’s considerate to tell ppl they’re not going to spend time with someone in advance notice instead of letting ppl drive 2 hours to see them & THEN tell them. You don’t change plans on ppl at the last minute. No one should be teaching anyone that is ok

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The 12 year old has the choice to go or not, and a court will tell you this. Once 12, they get to decide. It’s rude that they do cancel like that yes, but there isn’t much you can do about it. You can go to court over it but they will tell you it’s up to the 12 year old what she wants to do. Also, a hotel room for a two hour drive? Lol why? My dad used to have to drive 2 1/2 hours to pick me up and take me back to his house Friday and bring me home Sunday, every other weekend, for 11 years. So really, the hotel thing is on you. But, yes its ridiculous they cancel like that and you can make a court date but they will tell you at 12, it’s up to the child’s wants.

Good luck during covid the state can put a pause on visits entirely

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If it is court ordered that dad is to have visitation every other weekend with his daughter, then mom can be held in contempt of court and no, it doesn’t matter if the daughter is over 12 if the visitation is court ordered. If daughter doesn’t want to see dad then she and mom would have to go back to court and have visitation changed.

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What type of relationship do they have overall. Father should have frequent short interactions with the child on a regular basis, maybe by phone, text, facetime. If the relationship is good, she will want to spend time with the dad on a regular basis, even if it may not be every other weekend. Technically the mother in contempt, but how is someone going to physically make the 12 year old attend visitation.

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Expectations leads to disappointment…Court orders or not…Shes 12…Shes maturing…Let her dicisson make law Not yours