Long post warning. Trying to decide what to do but SO and I disagree. How do we decide who gets what they want?
We currently have an almost 3 year old (August) and a 15 month old. I was hoping to start trying at the end of April to aim for a January baby. He wanted to wait and said maybe May or June but then covid happened and I was unable to sub and so we have only 1 income since my mat leave ended in March. Money has been tight but we are waiting on the sale of a tractor and a few other things we could sell and then things would be better plus I am supposed to return to work in the fall.
Also the end of April I lost the sight in my one eye and within a month got a CT. MRI, 2 Ophthalmologist appointment and a neurologist appointment. End result is I have MS. Besides my eyes, and migraines that they say are not related, I have been feeling pretty good. They want me to decide what I am doing about meds and/or pregnancy.
The reasons I want to try now:
I have been feeling pretty good so far and never know what the future will bring.
I want my kids 2 years apart and that is already being pushed as my first are 18 months and I feel if too far the new baby won’t be as close as these two.
I am a math science teacher but will be returning to a 6/7 classroom in the fall and am very nervous about teaching English and so would just like to get my EI and return to a mat leave.
By returning to work I am able to keep our health plan coverage (Canada) and get my EI again.
I really want 4 kids and he would have been fine after our first and now after 2 but has said we can have 3 but he wants to wait so I work longer and make more money. Although I feel it never seems to matter we are tight more often plus I will be paying for 2 kids in daycare.
He drives a semi most of the time so is often away monday to friday or longer so when working kids are all on me and when they get sick it is always a challenge I have to face since it isn’t the easiest to call in sick the morning of. I’m also home alone with the new baby plus 2 kids and I know this but I completely accept it because I know I am the one pushing for another and want the baby. He isn’t a baby person but does fantastic as they get older. He does so good with these two now that they can do more together.
Other things I have considered are that we already have a vehicle, all the things we need (will eventually need another toddler bed and a new car seat sometime after they are 6 months) and we have a camper that fits us all (our summer holiday). Our house is smaller but we can certainly make it work.
I have an appointment for Wednesday to get my IUD out but we are still undecided. Either I forcing him to have a baby when he wants to wait or he is forcing me to work at a job I don’t feel good returning too but can’t change as there are not many schools around and I was willing to suck it up planning to take my leave and also by waiting it completely changes the age gaps I had planned for my family and always talked about for years.
sorry for the length but would love any advice. thanks.