Has marriage counseling helped anyone here? We haven’t even reached year 1 of being married, and I’m so fed up. I really do have a love for my man, but when we have a disagreement, it turns into a huge fight. I really want to just put all my problems out here, but it’s a novel story. He suggested counseling, but then again, he was drunk and soppy when he said it. We have a son together and we finally got his daughter here, who I love so much. I want this to work, the counseling, but now that he’s sober, he’s just quiet about it. I just need reassurance
How old are you guys? My husband and I have been together since we were 16 and 17 were 28-27 and I have to tell ya our relationship was pretty toxic in the beginning. We had a lot of growing up to do and our relationship had to grow or go sometimes the hard conversations are worth it. I told my husband (then live in boyfriend) that if he wanted to work it out then let’s work it out. Life is too short for toxic people/ relationships. We didn’t go to counseling but I think it would’ve helped. Just have the conversation and make that choice together. I hope it works out!
Counseling is definitely good for anyone. But you have to fine one right for the both of you.
If you guys are having a disagreement and it turns into a fight, stop. Agree to disagree. Cool down. Try to see each other’s point of view and revisit the topic when you both are cooled down.
We do “No fight time” which is were we are just simply expressing how we feel or what we think is wrong or disagree with. Get it out there, then separate and re-group.
Another thing, try writing to each other. Sometimes in a disagreement you aren’t listening to the other person, you are thinking what you are going to say next.
No, but my ex also wasn’t very invested in it, didn’t put in any effort, doesn’t believe in counseling, put everything on me, refused to take responsibility for his short comings, and all around didn’t care. It takes both people being committed to fixing things, good communication, and actually wanting counseling to work to be successful.
Yes marriage counseling helped us. I was 23 and my husband 27 when we got married. 31st anniversary this year. Heaps of ups and downs.
If you’re both invested in it then yes it can work well. They often say that even if you dated for a while and lived together the first 3 years of marriage are some of the hardest. Relationships will have major ups and downs but a key I’ve found is to have the tough conversations. To at some point talk about how you both want a conflict to be resolved. Men and women have different needs and perceptions for many aspects of life, love, conversation, conflict and it takes time to really figure out how to incorporate what each person needs. Some issues just take time to sort out and move on from too.
I think that counseling is a good idea whether it helps save things or not. It truly depends on the couple and where you’re at. But, the perspectives that can be gained are 100% worth it.
My ex and I were together from 2005-2019. We were 18/19 when we started dating. And, we have a young son together. Divorce was not the outcome either of us wanted/expected. But, I feel like counseling helped us realize that we were better friends and coparents than a married couple. It helped us navigate the decisions that needed to be made.
Having a neutral, third party there makes all the difference.
I was young and naive when I got married,had two kids, when we were married three years my husband told me to leave, I had to move in with my parents,I grew up really fast and raised my kids.now it is fourth two years later and he will call me and tell me it was all his fault and wishes he had me back,but once someone tells me to leave I just leave, I wish they had counseling back then,
It only works if both want to try .
Marriage counseling did us wonders. I think every married couple should do it honestly. It took us a couple different counselors to find the one we liked but once we did it was so so worth it. We also went right after our one year anniversary
It help me decide I do not want him
I’ve been to counseling for myself…she gave me tips for our relationship but he won’t attend with me. So I’m following your post to see other responses as I’m torn between walking away or trying to work it out. 12 year relationship…1 daughter…married for 7 years
There are worse things than divorce, constantly fighting and not sorting out issues will destroy your marriage and you as a person as well as the kids
I want to try it but my man isn’t a big talker in the first place. Doesn’t really open up to anyone pretty much ever so i know the battle getting him to talk to the therapist would just be exhausting
As long as both parties are committed to solving the issues in the relationship. Your happiness and well-being comes first. Relationships are a lot of work, but don’t force it to work.
Yes it helped my husband and me. I honestly feel like it just gave us different perspective, reality check, and tools for healthy communication. I’ve found that it helped w my marriage and all my other relationships too.
The first year of marriage can be really hard. It was for us. Going to counseling and having a supervised conversation and given ideas about how to communicate better really helped us, and we learned so much about each other and the things we struggle with. Sometimes there are just fears and other things under the surface that need to be talked about, and it opens your eyes about so much in your relationship. It’s okay to get help, and it’s also okay to come to the conclusion that maybe you don’t work as romantic partners. Counseling just gives you the tools you need to do either one of those things gracefully.
I’m currently in counseling with my fiancée and it’s helped so much. We have learned how to communicate and not just argue but instead have a conversation about it. It does take both parties wanting to make it work tho
First year of marriage is rough after the honeymoon faze, add in drinking and that spells disaster. Sounds like theres a lot of growing up to do. Counseling could very much work if you’re both invested, but if not then no it wont. You both need to talk to one another, tell him what you need and he tell you, talk through whats going wrong so you can work towards fixing it, He needs to stop drinking. You both sound like you need to work on yourself, as well as the relationship. Don’t think because you have children its better to stay together, what you have right now is toxic, and its toxic for the kids so if you can’t work through your difficulties and you don’t seak help you need to take a break, not just for you but the kids. They need to learn what a healthy relationship is so they grow up seaking that kind of connection, and not a toxic one. Good luck to both of you!
It takes two committed to their marriage plus GOD on a daily basis to make a marriage work.
Counselors give suggestions and ideas but IF they do not point a couple to CHRIST, there are no lasting results.
Even with CHRIST as the Head of the home, IF both spouses are not committed to Him, each other, marriage can still fall apart.
One spouse cannot do all the work towards a GOD-centered marriage alone.
Children in the mix NEED healthy lives!! A whole and loving relationship with parents who both have same.
GOD created and married the first couple. His way, works.
Check Dr. James Dobson. He also has a Facebook.