Did you resent your SO after you had a baby?

Help! First-time mom and wanting some advice on what some of you did/ said to not resent your SO after having a baby? I’ve been feeling overwhelmed like I do 99% of the work, and he just comes home and avoids holding the baby or help. I never wake him up in the middle of the night so he can get more sleep since he works and goes to school right now, yet he has the nerve to complain when he holds her for 10 mins and then puts her down, and she starts crying… my baby is only a month old right now. Please tell me this won’t be forever.

28 Likes

Talk him girl. Don’t attack him. Just tell him you are struggling and you need him to step it up and give you the support and love that you need. It gets better dude. Some people just don’t realize they aren’t doing enough.

6 Likes

Dad’s can go through post partum as well. Just talk to him and express how you are feeling. Babies are a big change for both you and dad. Stay strong mama!

2 Likes

It will be like this forever :rofl: sorry girl. Specially if you’re a stay at home mom. I work and we do things 50/50 I’ve been off work on sick leave due to some medical issues for the last 2 months and now its me doing 90 he does 10 but im good with it as he’s working and im not. We have 3 3 and under so its a lot he works 10am til around 9pm so its like being alone all the time plus doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, diapers, chasing 2 dogs around, clean the litter box, wake up with the baby at 5 or 6am… its part of not working tho. When I work we really share most of the responsibilities of being parents I just dont think he has to when he’s working all the time

1 Like

My experience is that this will continue untill the baby can walk and talk then he will be more intrested, not sure why but men are afraid of them till they are older

1 Like

Most guys are not taught how to take care of a baby, think about how girls are encouraged to play with dolls and treat them like a real baby. Your SO might not know what to do and he probably feels very insecure about doing baby care, you need to talk to him about how you are feeling, and ask him to be in charge of the baby one hour a day on the days he works and has school and 2 hours on the days he has neither. Let him know you NEED his help and how you are feeling resentful and hurt that he doesn’t want to help.

1 Like

My husband has been SUCKING lately. Normally he kills the daddy game. Not lately. I could kill him.

2 Likes

Talk to him. Tell him what you need. That’s the only way he will know

Holy shit that sucks! You are a team 50/50 with baby talk to him! You guys are new parents it will be ok! Communication is so important!!

Ya you just need to tell him as her father he has an important role in her life and needs to be bonding with her. I also used to tell me husband that when he helps me parent I’m a lot better wifey (not too exhausted at night for some loving) because YES you will resent him and it will only get worse

I have two kids and a baby on the way. Be grateful that he is there. Some do it all on their own without help from anyone.

1 Like

It gets better but also my SO doesn’t know our baby the way I do so I offer advice (pat her or rock her, check her butt, get up and walk) you can probably tell what the baby needs quicker and most men imo dont like not knowing how to help but dont like to ask. Talk to him.
You’ve got this momma.

It will get better. It’s hard at first and babies scare men at first. Once your baby sleeps more, you will get more sleep and all will be okay.

You both are just figuring it out, make sure to communicate without getting overly emotional, reason with him and talk things through. Men don’t think like we do, and they are not mind readers.

You need to tell him exactly how you feel. I told my husband that I was about ready to stab him because he wasn’t helping and he starting picking up the slack. You aren’t meant to do everything and if he makes you feel like you should then leave his ass.

Most men don’t get the same parenting instinct like us momma’s. Once the baby is a little older it wi change. My hubby and I got into a huge blow out about him helping with our new borns he he broke down and admitted that he was scared to hold them like he would break them or something. Just let him know you could use a little more help and that you need a few mins of you time even if it’s just going for a walk or taking an uninterrupted shower. You got this girl stay strong

This phase wont last forever as much as its a huge change for u it is for daddy too. Communication is key goodluck

Talk to him and tell him how you’re feeling and ask him if he can help out a bit more in someway. Also remember you guys were a partnership before you had the baby so just try and spend some one on one time with each other. Even if it’s just watching a movie or something while bubs sleeps

He is an asshole. Get out.

Tell him it’s his child too and he needs to help. Doesn’t matter if he works. I mean I understand you taking more of the load but a break would be nice!

4 Likes