Do I have a right to be mad?

So I’ve been with a guy for two years. We have had ups and downs just like everyone else… Recently (about the last month) we have been fighting like cats and dogs. He reached out to one of his “best friends,” who happens to be a female, to tell her all about our problems; my issue with this is… He hasn’t spoken to her for 1 1/2 years iv met her one time. He never called to tell her when we got engaged or even when we found out we were having a baby, but he can tell her our problems … I asked him why he was talking to her, and he flipped out on me for looking at his phone and calling me crazy for being upset about it… my thing is If he couldn’t keep in contact with her over the last 1 1/2 let her know about our Engagement and pregnancy why does she need to know we were talking about splitting up?? I know I’m not wrong for being pissed, am I?? Guess I just need others’ opinions to be 100% sure…

59 Likes

Still keeping his options open IMO

10 Likes

Sounds to me like hes testing the waters

6 Likes

My advice is to make it clear that you will not compete for him. Been there, done that and it doesn’t end well.

8 Likes

Agree he’s testing the waters. Wants her to think you’re crazy and for her to make him feel like a man

8 Likes

Not ok. At all.
It seems like he is keeping his options open.
You have every right to be upset.

4 Likes

Yeah sounds like he’s seeing if she’s interested in something

4 Likes

Unpopular opinion: he wanted help and found an unrelated female he could trust

9 Likes

He’s keeping a back up…

5 Likes

I don’t think it’s really been that long since they talked if he was so open about everything after supposedly not talking for that long

8 Likes

The fact you went through his phone means u have trust issues in my opinion. And now your jealous he is talking to an old friend female or not… idk in my opinion I feel like your in the wrong…

27 Likes

He’s hiding something from you :woman_shrugging::100:

8 Likes

Normalize having friendships with the opposite sex.

Are you checking his phone constantly to know he hasn’t spoke to her?
Relationship seems doomed if you’re going to treat him like he’s a cheater

11 Likes

Sometimes people talk to other people they haven’t talked to in years for many reasons. Maybe he just wanted someone else who doesn’t know what’s going on, etc. I wouldn’t let my mind wonder without being 100 percent sure & the only to know is if you sit down and talk without screaming typa thing.

3 Likes

Wtf. I would be pissed too! You don’t go off and tell any female about your relationship issues. Smh.

16 Likes

I think communicating is key. You gotta talk to him. Ask him why he seemed so upset.
I am finally in a very healthy relationship, have been for over 3 years and we are expecting our first child together in August. I used to go through his phone because of my own insecurities, and it pissed him off because he has never done anything for me to not trust him, but because of past traumas I have lived through, I had trust issues. But I always have to talk to him about things. We can’t read others minds. So it’s better to ask, instead of assume.
It sounds fishy to me, but I also don’t know the kind of guy he is so its not fair for me to judge. All I can say is open communication is key for any healthy relationship.
Just my opinion, I hope everything works out alright for you and the precious little one :heart:

6 Likes

Maybe just maybe… He felt like he couldnt talk to anyone and he knew he could talk to her about it? Stop assuming the worst, stop snooping, if you dont trust him then leave him!

4 Likes

He should be figuring out how to talk to YOU, about working through your issues. Sounds like he is feeling overwhelmed with all of the big changes, and commitments they entail. Marriage does not cure a commitmentphobe. Its painful to talk frankly about “taking a break” at a time like this. Much more painful to talk about divorce later. Do it. Been there.

4 Likes

He’s trying to secure something else. That’s such a red flag. Do you know if they had history or any attempts at being romantic before you met?

9 Likes

#1. Don’t talk about your problems with anyone else than your partner. It’s your relationship so if you want to make it work than you gotta talk it out. Ya people can give insight but no one knows the ins and outs of your household. Yes if he is talking to someone else than its a problem.

11 Likes