Do I need permission from my husband to visit my family?

Should I have to get permission from my husband before I go visit my family? So I’ve been with my husband for almost seven years, married for two we recently moved a little over an hour away from all my family so if I go to visit it’s not just for an hour or two it’s usually the whole day that I’ll be gone seeing as how I don’t drive that far all the time. I would say I see my family maybe once a month if that, and every time I do, my husband is fighting with me the entire time I’m gone, usually because he didn’t want me to go, and I went anyway. I feel like if I wait for him to say yes, I’ll never go and visit my family. I don’t know what to do anymore. Like this last time, he said we need to save money, and I’m going down that way next weekend. Well, I’m going down that way for a bridal shower for a friend not to go see my family, and my mom works the day of the bridal shower, so I can’t go see her then. We are not hurting for money, and I get his concern, but at the same time, it’s not like I’m going to be spending a bunch of money; I just want to take the kids to go visit my mom. I will try and keep an eye out for when this gets posted, and I’ll reply to any questions.

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No, you do not. He is not your parent.

You absolutely do not need permission to go visit your mom, family etc. The only reasons I can think of why this would be a problem for him is either trust issues or control. Maybe he has some underlying trust issues that makes him anxious when you go. Or he could be using this as a method of isolation to control the relationship. Either way, I’d talk to him about some type of compromise. “I’ll only go one weekend a month to visit unless there is an event. Maybe next time you’d like to come and we can use the drive to spend time together and talk”- type of thing. Good luck!

You don’t need permission!
My husband used to do this and would said we had something to do but we would spend the whole weekend at his moms. So one day i was done with it and I told him, we are going to spend one weekend with your mom and one weekend with mine. If he didn’t want to visit my mom then I wouldn’t visit his….good luck to you!

I have been in the same boat as you, any time I went to visit it would be a fight. We fought because I would go back to the town I lived in for 15years, and he was scared I had some other guy to visit out there :face_with_raised_eyebrow:Sometimes I would just make up an excuse as to why I couldn’t come out just to save a fight. In all honesty after 6years of that I ended up having a break down and told my husband I need my mum, and he’s more than welcome to come with me but if he doesn’t he needs to trust and accept that I’m only at my mums and no where else. Now sometimes he’ll message to ask how long until I get home, only because he’s usually wanting dinner by the time I get home :rofl: I hope you find a way to communicate with your husband to stop the arguments, you need your mum and he needs to understand that

This is called being Controlled! No, you should not have to ask permission! Communicating with your partner about things you are going to do is normal. Him telling you when you are allowed to go somewhere is not! I was in a relationship just like this. I was only allowed to go to town for groceries when absolutely necessary & then it had to include everything else needed at the time (doctors, chiropractor, banking etc) with my little one. I was allowed to go to the store (20 min away) once without the kids, he texted 30 min after I had left wondering why I wasn’t home yet. Then the same for going to my parents house & to pick up my older son from his dad 45 minutes away. I could only go when necessary. The ex would call my cell, the house phone, then text & private message me, if I didn’t answer right away he would send the neighbor over to check on me… Get out NOW! It’s not good for you or your children. I developed major anxiety & my little one did too. He ended up needing therapy for it, 6 years later there are still times that he has a problem that takes longer than usual to get through. You deserve to be treated as an equal in any relationship.

No I wouldn’t be seeking permission to visit anyone let alone my family, again like someone has said I’d say where I’m going purely for safety reasons and I text when I’m on my way home mainly so he can stick the kettle on/pour a glass of wine.

Have you asked him why he acts like this?

Fuck no, you’re a grown ass woman

I have been in the same boat as you, any time I went to visit it would be a fight. We fought because I would go back to the town I lived in for 15years, and he was scared I had some other guy to visit out there :face_with_raised_eyebrow:Sometimes I would just make up an excuse as to why I couldn’t come out just to save a fight. In all honesty after 6years of that I ended up having a break down and told my husband I need my mum, and he’s more than welcome to come with me but if he doesn’t he needs to trust and accept that I’m only at my mums and no where else. Now sometimes he’ll message to ask how long until I get home, only because he’s usually wanting dinner by the time I get home :rofl: I hope you find a way to communicate with your husband to stop the arguments, you need your mum and he needs to understand that

Never would I ever let someone, husband or not, tell me when I can to see my mother. Better yet, what I do at all. Being married is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I need permission from my husband to visit my family?

Go see your family and don’t ask for your husband’s permission; in my opinion that’s controlling

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Sounds like he’s trying to control and isolate. You shouldn’t need “permission” to do anything. It’s a courtesy to run it past him. But permission? Absolutely not. That’s not a partnership. That’s a dictatorship

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That’s your mom ! Period !

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No. You don’t need permission. Just let him know, hey this day I’ll be gone visiting family/whatever else.
I think telling your spouse what your doing is respectful. But permission… no.

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Don’t ask a man for permission to see your blood tf I tell mine what I’m doing and I’ll ask him did it sound like I was asking

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You do not need permission to visit your own family , maybe let him know your going or is that the problem ???

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Your husband sounds controlling. I’d say go visit your mom. You only get one, so visit her while she’s still alive.

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Permission for an hour drive​:pensive::persevere:.Go see your family

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Go visit your family