So, different kinds of questions. Do you mamas ever talk about your “troubles” with marriage or relationships with anyone? Or do you feel like their input can sway you? Help you? Be it a therapist? Your friend, family? Do you keep it behind closed doors? I’m trying to figure some things out regarding this and how it can potentially ruin relationships or help
I talk to my a long time friend, but that’s about it. She’s pretty much my sister. It all depends on the problem and if who you’re talking to is someone that really has your best interests in mind and can be honest about things.
I usually don’t talk about personal issues in my relationship with family or friends just because I feel like those are private things. I would talk about issues with a therapist personally because what you say behind those doors are just between you and the therapist. I had issues like this with my last relationship because he told personal things about me and our relationship to people at work and he didn’t understand why that was a problem. Friends and family are also going to be bias where as a therapist won’t be. If it’s someone who’d very close to you probably, but I wouldn’t.
I personally have done both. My last relationship was very public and i asked alot of advice from those around me. The relationship I’m in now I keep it as private as possible. People are gonna talk either way. People are going to have there opinion and always will have a hater in the mix. The only people who should truly know about things is you n yours because you all can kiss and make up but once that door is open for others to voice their opinion they will hold a grudge N bring it up after you all make up to cause problems
As long as yiubtell both sides of the story . most only tell one side and then get everyone mad at the other person .
Also it depends whatbits about .
We keep all if it off any social media. Support each other In public, conflict needs to be private. Nothing wrong with taking with friends but that should only be kept between friends. Don’t just share the bad. Share the good. So that the people you talk with get all of it not just the negative.
The only person I talk about my relationship problems to is my partner.
It’s a lesson I learned the HARD way.
Theres too much “man hate” for example…you post about an issue on a mommy group…the 75% of the comments are to leave or give ultimatums. How men are lucky to have women and pretty much should do whatever they want.
If the woman was doing the things the man was doing advice is TOTALLY different. All over shes justified blah blah blah.
Nope. Its toxic to treat men like they’re not human beings with thoughts and feelings of thier own separate from their partners.
There’s too much that needs to be included for accurate and balanced advice.
For example. I have PTSD and anxiety. I’m self conscious. And suspicious. And I’ve WORKED on my issues. I really have. I’ve gotten better.
But there are still times that I’m suspicious for no reason.
That’s a lot to try to explain if I was upset and asking for advice about why I feel suspicious…partially because it’s so damn hard to explain.
It can change the way people look at the person you’re with. If I go bitching about my husband to my mom everytime I’m bothered or annoyed or…whatever…
Eventually she’ll look at him differently. I don’t want that. I may be angry with him but I dont want to trash his relationship with my family/friends either.
Unless, we’re talking about an abusive situation…talking openly and honestly with your partner and LISTENING and being receptive is the best way to resolve issues. You’re in a relationship with them. Ultimately thier opinion and feelings…and your opinion and feelings need to be the bottom line for how things are dealt with.
I don’t talk to family or male friends. That is a huge no. Talking about your troubles with family can lead to issues with in-laws. For instance my in laws hate me because that’s what my husband did and now they only know and see the bad things that have happened. And never speak about relationship issues with the opposite sex. Or same sex if you are gay/lesbian.
I have one friend. She doesn’t judge my husband and knows I can be a little dramatic when heated. She knows exactly what say without bashing on him.
She has proven herself to be the therapist I need, though. Other people I’ve tried talking to just have different expectations of their spouses than I do or end up driving the wedge deeper.
It helps so much having someone to vent to, but I think you have to be incredibly careful who to vent to
I’ve done both. I talk to my partner or a counselor. Other people have bias advice.
If I did have any problems I would talk to my sister about it.
I have one person that I vent to but I trust her and she’s the kind of friend who tells me what I need to hear and not just what I “want” to hear. Like, if I’m being ridiculous she’s not afraid of calling me on it. She’s also very level headed and fair and she never over steps or tries to make calls in my relationships. But I don’t blab to just anybody because that can absolutely be problematic. You should always aire your grievances with your partner first but a trusted outside opinion can be refreshing and help you grow. Just be sure you’re not just trashing your partner though…
God…or I just discuss the issue with my husband. Its him and I so nobody else can really have a fair opinion either way bc they don’t know the relationship 100%. My husband and I have found that open communication is key.
i would talk to my girlfriends about my relationship, more so to vent than advice. going to family is a huuuge no no to me though, don’t want them to get different opinions on your significant other.
We keep things between ourselves 100%. But we have never had a real threat to our relationship in our 15 years together. If we were on the verge of collapse, or a real threat to our marriage reared its head, I would seek therapy before it was too late. But I don’t run to friends with our petty issues, because people talk and my business is not theirs to discuss.
Only about some things and it’s to my closet friend because I know she won’t judge and will just listen and be honest. I’m her person too, but we are very honest with each other and we can both admit our own faults. I don’t talk to family though. They usually just back you because they family. And I don’t need that. I need someone that’s not afraid to tell me I’m wrong.
The first person you should talk to is your partner, if you can’t talk calmly about the troubles and work them out then it is best to talk to a professional, they have nothing to gain if you stay together or end up breaking up, a counselor will help you find ways to resolve the problems instead of playing the blame game like your friends or family will do.
Keep your business to yourself. Everyone’s relationships are different. Talk to your partner.
Before running to family/friends always remember…just because you may forgive someone, doesn’t mean everyone else will.