So I met my boyfriend over a year ago and we are expecting our first baby together Christmas 2019 he will be my first and his second, I knew from the start he had a son and when we first started talking I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t a bunch of drama and he told me that it was not planned and he was never in a relationship with his babymoma, he said he went to a party one night and he was drunk and the condom broke and 3 months later she called saying that he was going to be a father and I believed that because I had no reason not too it sounded legit so we got serious in our relationship talking about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together, and 7 months later I became pregnant and we are so excited, but shortly after I became pregnant things were okay but our relationship wasn’t doing so well anymore and he always had to much communication with his babymoma that wasn’t neccercey nothing sexual but just constant back and fourth about money and visits and she tried to be involved about my baby with him but she never spoke to me directly and was very disrespectful before I ever even met her so I went through his phone and found a message she sent him about an update on their divorce and it this point I was 6 month pregnant and just found out that the man I love and am having a baby girl with has lied to me for almost a year about somthing so important and I talked to him about it and I almost left but I wanted to try and fix things because I truly love him, and we have talked about it and he said he never told me because he didn’t want me to leave him so I’m trying to move on I have forgiven him but it’s still a sore spot and he gets a month off work for when I have our baby and I told him I wanted that time for just him and I to kind of be alone with or baby and try to heal and repair the trust he’s lost and he tells me that I’m being selfish and that after 1 week of having our baby he’s going to get his son for the rest of the 3 weeks he’s off and keep in mind his son is still young and needs alot of care and attention too and I just don’t feel like we are going to have that time that I not only want but need in order to heal and trust him again, I feel like it’s selfish of me but at the same time I want don’t think it’s that big of deal he can get his son after I’ve had time to heal after having my first baby and had time to adjust to being a first time mom. Please let me know if I’m selfish or if I have a right to want that time.
I couldn’t imagine being his ex wife and hearing you say that about my child. I wouldn’t want you around my child. You are extremely immature and selfish. You really need to grow up and work on yourself. Including how to form a proper sentence. Omg reading that was driving me nuts! Lol
So he lied about being married to her…oof. that’s a big lie…but you shouldn’t be excluding his other child. Would you want yours kept away from her sibling if the situation was reversed?
This is a hard one . But
The way I see this is :
You knew he had a son getting in this serious relationship . It’s not his sons fault . He should be able to spend the same amount of time with his son now as the child that will be born . Both are his children
I understand it’s hard to love a child that isn’t yours . But you will one day . You have to allow it
I have a step son and I could never not allow my husband not to see his child . That would be very selfish of me .
You have to sacrifice .
He is willing to give you and the baby a week . That is something you should be happy about
It’s at least something
Never tell a dad he can not see his child . There are so many dad’s/mom’s that aren’t good parents . Be lucky you have a great man that is and will be a great father to your child as well
I wish you luck , and hope all turns out for the best for you , your boyfriend and his son and your soon to be baby
That is super shitty for you to ask him to back burner his son. Having a new baby does not mean the other children become less important. You have some valid points but your perception and attitude need serious adjustment
You knew he had another kid. That’s something you should have already come to terms with. He is just as much a parent to his first born as he is to your baby! Asking him to go a month without keeping his first born so he can give YOU AND YOUR BABY His full attention is super selfish. Sorry. It’s not impossible to take care of two kids at the same time even if one is a newborn. That’s parenting.
You are not someone I would allow around my child at all, the problem seems to be with you. And you need to remove yourself from the situation if you are trying to take him away from children he already has.
Ok, it not really right to want him all to yourself when other children are involved, so that’s wrong but look if you listen you can hear the lies to come as well. He’s to comfortable with lying and it’s not just about little things, he lied about his child and his status this is who you are aligning yourself with. Forget about trusting him he isn’t trustworthy. Personally, I would cut my losses and raise my child to have integrity, that’s something his father doesn’t possess.
I don’t think you are wrong about being upset about him lying about being married. If I were you, I would leave. However, you are very wrong in thinking it is ever ok to say his other child should not be around. That is not ok. None of this is that baby’s fault and he deserves his father as much as your baby deserves her father.
YOU are so Right!! Go with your gut. Not your heart. I would get rid of him. Just saying.
First off all you actually jumped into this relationship to quick and became pregnant knowing he had another child and now you want all of his time to be spent focusing on you and your baby but remember he still has obligations to his other child, this has nothing to do with you and the other woman, this is between you and your supposedly man, handle that situation or leave because he lied
Wow that was a rude comment I don’t think that’s what she was looking for here please put your Superior judgment on hold or take it off of Facebook
I think she was asking people’s opinions I don’t think she was asking to be condemned for asking for opinions okay people she’s new at this
So basically, you want him to put HIS son on the back burner, while you “heal” after having your baby?! That’s not how it works. You knew he had a son when you got with him! You sound like a selfish,immature child
Perhaps her requests are unreasonable but that’s why she’s here asking okay? Show some love people
Stopped at he said the condom broke all these dudes read from the same hand book
Yes, he lied. Don’t take it out on his son though. His son should also be able to spend that time with his new sibling.
The problem is u knew he had a child before u got involved with him don’t try and keep him away from his other child .
Its all so easy when you’re not the person in the story. Go with your feelings thats what i always say! Your first feeling is always right!!
Let’s have a little compassion