Does anyone else have a partner that is work obsessed? We’ve been together for 5 years and have 2 young kids and I thought he would change having kids but he honestly picks work over his family no matter what. It’s getting to the point I don’t know what to do about him. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Trust me. Fix it now. Other wise it will never get any better. I lived like. Tht for 28 yrs. Tht. His job. Comes first. And couldn’t change him
Maybe he wants to guarantee y’all don’t go without.
I wish I had a hard working man. Jeez
R u fucking kidding me
May be he’s trying to make life a little better… it all depends on the situation… if there’s one… or maybe he’s just use to working alot…
Super hard to give words of wisdom without knowing the full situation but I will say any person that is willing to work their butts of to make sure they can provide for their family gets a golden star. Some people have a mindset if they don’t bend over backwards and give their all to their company that they may never achieve their full career potential. Perhaps he has the mindset if he sacrifices the time with you and your children now that there will be better opportunities later or maybe that’s how he knows how to show that he loves and cares. So maybe he isn’t choosing work over family, maybe he is choosing security and love in a way that seems like he is dismissing you and the kiddos.
Well if the money adds up to the amount of time he puts in and your family isn’t going without I wouldn’t complain. If you think you can afford it, ask him to take some days off to spend as a family or together alone
Ya i did , but he was using it to cheat .
It depends on the situation. Is your partner trying to better your lives so you can have what you need with no worry or does their job always come first and they would always rather be working? It’s hard to give advice without knowing the full situation.
Mine is the same way and we’re middle aged. You won’t change him. But I make him take one day off a week to spend time with me and his family. Work and money is great but it’s not everything. And if he doesn’t spend quality time as a family or together then there’ll be tension.
We need a little bit more information. Is he an essential worker and can’t have the leisure of a 9-5 job?
Ask if he’s willing to go to couples counseling if it’s negatively impacting your relationship.
Do you work? If you don’t then you have to consider that he’s taking on the responsibility of trying to take care of his family with one income.
Being “that partner” that seems to choose work first - I do it because I am the sole breadwinner. My husband struggled with that at first, but he also understands that his role right now is to make sure the kids aren’t burning the house down. He quit his job when the pandemic hit because one of us needed to be at home and I made more money and had a career vs. a job.
He understands I’m not picking one over the other, but we also had a conversation about it.
You need to have an open dialog. Maybe he is doing it because he is the sole provider - I don’t know because there isn’t a lot of info here. Show an interest in what he’s doing, ask what is going on at work so he feels more open to talking to you about it.
He may feel like he needs to provide & if the option to make more money is there then he doesn’t want to turn it down. My husband worked out of town with over time a lot. I worked full time with two young children. After our 2nd child he continued with more over time. Looking at finances and really asking each other what our goals were helped. I also stressed the fact that yes we might not have every materialistic thing but we only have 18 years with these children. Job change, shared parenting duties (big eye opener😂) and more family time really helped all aspects of our family. Talk about it and communicate your feelings. Whatever you two do, I hope it works out got the best!
Reading this makes me think of myself double sleeps, pick up hours on my AL, always covering shortage of staff etc but from my point of view it’s gotta be done and I don’t have kids (not a choice I would make) but if I did I wouldn’t be able to just drop work. We live in a world where nothing is free not even kindness it seems but knowing I’m leaving my other half for days/nights going home just to sleep ready for next day is hard and I’ve cried, felt guilty & thought about changing jobs or lowering my hours then never do - So maybe put yourself in his shoes and how he must feel about it?
He’s doing it for you and your babies. Men like to provide. If you are struggling with this, have a word with him and make sure to have date night’s.
Marry a farmer. Then you can really complain cause all those ladies in the barn take priority over YOU, THE KIDS, PLANS, HOLIDAYS, FAMILY GATHERINGS, DATE NITES, SEX, ROMANCE, MEALS…YOU NAME IT. PASSWORD IS WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
Biggest misconception I see women hold is that a man will have a shiny new personality as soon as you pop out a baby. Doesn’t happen:woman_facepalming:t2:
Make every single moment count. Support him. He’s working.
And yes…I practice what I preach
This IS my situation.