Does it sound like I am wasting time in my relationship?

I feel lonely, unseen, undesirable, and unappreciated in a relationship! The relationship is fairly new and with a man that I truly admire as an individual as a whole. We were close acquaintances for years prior to starting a relationship so the future looked bright in the beginning. Fast forward some time later and the relationship and the bed are cold. I communicate very well and he just says he is not the type to give a compliment, to be emotional, or affectionate. I am the complete opposite, and I feel that I am turning into a stone spending time with him romantically! Prior to entering a relationship with me, he was single for many, many years. Thus, initially, I felt intrigued and special that he chose me. I grew to feel that a relationship is just a checkbox that he wanted to be able to check! He has a very emotionally demanding job, so he relaxes by playing games on the phone! I wish he got lost in me, us, as much as he does in a virtual world! We do not live together and I would like to work toward that with a significant other but he seems to be comfortable with the way things are and just seeing me once or twice a week. Pros: we are extremely loyal and trusting people, so we are able to lead social lives outside of a relationship without unhealthy jealousy, financially stable, big hearts, we both make sacrifices to make quality time for each other, he neither initiates or avoids spending time with my kid. I am the type of person who works on her relationships and I am seeking advice on how to improve a relationship with someone like him or should I cut my losses now & try to phase this relationship into a possible friendship? We are both in our late 30s and wasting time on a relationship that has an obvious expiration date is not an option for us. THANK YOU!

8 Likes

Sounds like you have specific needs in a partner he is unable to deliver. Life goals seem doable, but do you want to accomplish those goals with HIM, or with SOMEONE. Sounds like you enjoy the idea of him, but the reality isn’t living up to expectation.

11 Likes

I think its still very new and you are still learning each other but keep in mind that you cannot change and things start out as the best

You already know the answer to your question - you don’t need Facebook validation , leave

1 Like

You’re an FWB. (Friend with Benefits). Sounds like that’s he wants

1 Like

Before making a decision, bring it up to him. Tell him what you need. Maybe he doesn’t see it as being an issue. If he cannot fulfill your needs then it is time to go. But make sure to bring it up

1 Like

Walk girl. It won’t ever work. I’m sorry.

Why would you waste your time on someone like that,get out and find you some one else !

2 Likes

if u are asking that you already know its over

Myself I would leave

He isnt giving you anything you want. Why are you scared to be alone? Who cares that he picked you, choose yourself.

3 Likes

Move on sister, you Are beating a dead horse
!!

2 Likes

I think friendship is what’s best.

3 Likes

It sounds like you are two different people and handle relationships differently as well. Neither is right or wrong but if you cannot accept him for who/how he is and the same goes for him about you, then you are only denying the inevitable. You must not fall in love with someone’s potential but rather who they are at this moment in time, even if they never change. Anything less than acceptance will only lead to disappointment and an inability to meet each other’s needs.

5 Likes

I relate to having a very demanding exhausting job and value my alone time to decompress. My husband is a very needy person in the relationship. He values connection, time spent together, and physically touching, even if it’s just cuddling on the couch.

These particular differences between us is what causes most of our “problems”. If you cannot handle what is being offered and know that it probably won’t change, I would suggest moving on.

Do not expect someone to change because it doesn’t fit into your ideal.

Just because someone’s a good person doesn’t mean they’re good FOR YOU

8 Likes

We all love differently. His love might not be bad but it doesn’t sound like it’s the love your heart craves. I would find the love you want deep in your soul or you will never feel fulfilled.

2 Likes

Time to tell him how you feel and see where it goes

I’m sorry but since you have a kid please find someone who takes an interest in both of you. I met my current husband when my daughter was 4 yrs old and I can honestly say he enjoyed her company and invited her on most of our dates together and fell in love with her and that made me fall in love with him faster… because we were a package. It’s not just you and then there’s the kid. The man better be prepared and willing to take it all on and show the [email protected]#$ up!!!

6 Likes

Love your self do what yours hearts telling you to do.