Does anyone’s child throw things when they get mad? My son is three, and if he doesn’t get his way, sometimes he will throw his toys or whatever is in his hand. Time out doesn’t work with him, so I’ve started taking away toys when he does this and explaining to him that it’s not nice to throw things. What other advice would you give?
My daughter is 3 and does it when she’s frustrated. I immediately tell her she needs to ask for help and to not
Get mad. If she throws the toy again it is removed for a few days it has worked for her
My 2 year old does the same. Throws everything in sight
My son did exactly the same when he was angry he would throw things. Tried talking to him etc etc didnt help. One day he threw a plastic chair when he was angry. So i told him I’m leaving i cant handle this violent behaviour any longer i got into my car and drove around the block (hubby was home and rest of kids) when i came back he was totally calm. Whenever i could see he wanted to throw things ’ i wud ask him do you want mummy to go away?’ he would calm down immediately. Never had any temper tantrums after that. Might sound a bit extreme but it totally worked.
Perhaps it would do him some good to have a constructive physical outlet when he gets angry. He may have a bunch of energy pent up with it and not know what to do with it… as adults we struggle sometimes- he’s only little. A punching bag or something of the sort may be a good place to start. Good luck!
The simplest and Most effective way, is to Hammer the child and keep them in their place. We asians , never tolerated disrespectful, disobedient children, bcos they’ll grow up to be a curse to society. I don’t see Why westerners are so backward in disciplining their children. If they’re talking back, acting up, screaming, and not listening to what is being said, a simple way is to hit them hard, they will remember it and you won’t have to repeat it! Also, by not hammering them once in a way, no child is going to end up disciplined, and no one is going to give an award for kindness when the child ends up hitting ppl, killing or taking drugs later, due to the lack of proper parental guidance.
So please dont be afraid to teach them the hard way when its necessary
First acknowledged the feeling. “I see your feel upset right now.” Then relate to the child “Sometimes mommy gets upset too.” Let me know what they did wrong while they were upset “But we can’t throw things when we get upset.” Let them know what will happen if they do it again all while being calm and showing them how to react when things don’t go your way. “If you throw your toy again I will have to take it away from you for the day.” Make sure the punishment is related to the situation.
LOVE AND LOGIC by Foster M. Cline and Jim Fay. He doesn’t quite understand how to handle his anger and is reacting. State “uhh ohh that’s not how we handle our anger. You can either go to your room and sit on your bed or go to your room and sit on the floor?” You can also add “you can squeeze your pillow or sit quietly?” Basically give him options. Giving him options will help him focus on the question rather than on why he’s upset and will help trigger the part where he can start thinking instead of reacting.
He’ll get it soon enough just keep taking the toys and putting him in time out too cool down. He’s probably testing you to see if you’ll give in.
Hand to butt and explain to him why good spanking to draper before he get out hand
Our daughter who has ASD does this sometimes. She has thrown her ipad because we tell her it’s time to put it away, she understands but is just angry.
We warn her that mistreating items gets them taken away and tell her for how long it will be gone if she repeats it.
I tell her if she breaks it it’s going in the trash and she’s not getting another one.
I tell her it’s ok to be mad, but she needs to use her words and offer other ways for her to express her feelings.
Seems only to work if you follow though.
2 year old son same too…sometimes when I tell him to "stop it " he hit me harder on my face.
This was my daughter when she was around 2 years old. What I did was that whatever toy she throws away, she’ll never get to play with it again & pretend I throw them all away for good. I kept it all in a garbage bag. About a month down the line, I think she got over it realizing she’s really not getting back her toys. A few weeks more when I was finally sure she’s never doing it again, I gave her back all the toys she’s thrown away. It worked for me lol.
Normal. They don’t always recognize that they feel anger. Sometimes it is because they don’t have control in that moment. I give my 4yr old ‘cool down’ moments instead of time outs. So he can relax and come back. He stays cooling down for at least 30 seconds. Refocuses him and he even will tell me ‘I need to cool down for a minute’. Works great! Shows them that it’s okay to be frustrated but we dont need to act out. They dont know their feelings, much less how to express them! We cant expect them to be anything but their age. They just arent capable of being good all the time. Its impossible.
I had this problem when my son was younger. I put a clear bin with a sad face on it. If he wanted them back by being a good boy. When the tub was empty the sad face was happy. After a month of being happy i removed the tub and it was never and issue again. I did the same thing at 4 when he was asked to clean his room. Any toy left out was put in the tub. He was 2 the first time and 3 the second. It took 1 month and a couple of weeks to get him to stop. He is now almost 5 and he has the cleanest room in the house and never ever throws anything. It worked so well im thinking about bringing the tub back for my teenaged bonus kids. They leave everything all over the house!
From my experience . It’s really hard to ignore . But when children get reactions from things they have done they will do them more . I would try and hug the child and just calm them down first . Then after the fact explain why . With My son with special needs when he was younger there is no point in trying to engage with them through the melt down. There not able to comprehend . Even if you think they can they are over stimulated. Sometimes I have learned to take a step back and ignore how it made me feel and just do a deep pressure hug. May not work with every child or situation . The second is I am assuming he is like my child and always has to have a toy with him. Which my son always did to . Get a squeeze ball for when he is frustrated so he can use it to eliminate some “anger”
No, but I do.
Timeouts just put the focus on “if I throw this I get isolated”. They are also ineffective overall.
You want to put the focus on better ways of dealing with his emotions, so show him what he can do instead. This is not a skill he’s going to develop overnight, because his brain is highly undeveloped (development doesn’t stop until around 25 years old), so just be consistent with it and eventually it will become automatic.
I put my two year old in time out. She’s highly intelligent and knows exactly what’s she’s doing. She especially acts out when her dads home. Has now started making comments like “your not my mom” “no keke and dada, momma and dada” will tell her brother when she feels he’s taking her attention “that’s not your dada, that’s my dada.” Well when I’ve tried to emotionally sit down with her and talk about stuff. If I don’t give her the reaction she wants, she will literally hit me in my face. So I make her sit on the couch, she gets left out during play time. When she cries and asks why she can’t play, I explain that when you hit people there are consequences. As an adult if you hit someone what happens to you? You go to jail, i will teach my children the reality of life. That actions have consequences and when you do bad things you don’t deserve to be able to play and have fun. That’s the real world, as adults we know how this goes. It’s not hard to explain to children that when you act out, you are held accountable. It’s improved her behavior. At her moms she’ll hit her mom, has even drawn blood. But at our house, all I have to do is warn her if she doesn’t stop that’s a one way ticket to time out, she’ll say sorry and go about her business and behaves. Just depends on the kid, each kids different and reacts to things different. Xoxo
My 3 year old does this as well and my 4 year old has started. No advice because whatever I do, it doesnt help.