Does your ex communicate through your kids?

Does your ex communicate with you through your kids? I find this beyond annoying! I am so sick of my 14 years old having to relay messages from her father. I have tried repeatedly with him to communicate with me, especially when it is me that has to do what he’s asking? I have seriously considered not sending him the item he’s asking for until he asks me. Like it’s ridiculous that he uses our daughters to tell me things. Am I blowing this out of proportion? Also, this isn’t the first time he has done this. Maybe that’s why it’s so annoying when I have asked him to please tell/ask me not our children. They do not need to be in the middle of adult conversation.

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I wouldn’t send what he’s asking for. Thats really bad he is using your child to communicate to you…it’ll have an affect on her. Exes are so sodding annoying when they don’t think about the children. Xx

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You’re blowing it way out of proportion. Having your 14 year old ask to send something over is not a big deal and not really an “adult” conversation.

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Situations are different if you both cant or wont communicate together you need someone a family member whos neutral your personalities might clash

Don’t allow it to happen. By abiding with the request, you are enabling the behavior. Don’t!


It’s not being blown out of proportion you are both adults and the children need to stay out of it

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I wouldn’t send shit don’t let him put the kids in the middle

He needs to text you and you need to text him. If you can be civil you need a friend or family member as a go between not your kids

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Asking that next time you send something with the kids isn’t really adult conversation so I’d let that go, but if there’s more to it than that then yeah he should be speaking to you directly


No and my stepson mum doesn’t do this either. Not fair to make the child be the messenger.

It’s against parenting guidelines in Indiana. You have to write any correspondence in a note book. The child is not allowed to be the messenger

My husband’s ex and him are good about communicating. Putting that on the child isn’t really healthy.

Adult conversation? Unless he’s asking for sex toys it’s okay for him to get the 14 year old to just ask you. You sound bitter and pissy cuz he doesn’t want to talk to you


Nope I’d be irritated too. He obviously cant be mature enough to communicate with the mother of his children like an adult and has to gets the kids caught up in the middle of it.

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We have to communicate thru an app. It’s a cya.

No that is not good it should be between the Mother and Father they are adults its not fare on the children to put them in the middle of things

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My ex and I message directly about things. We never use the kids as messengers.

Its childish I agree, but if it’s only asking for items and never dealing with child support or custody issues, or any other truly grown up issues, then I would probably just deal with rather than start an argument that I’d be scared he’d put my child in the middle of.

OMG!! My ex husband drives me frigging nuts with this shit!! Has for the past 8 years!! Stipped communicating with ME and went straight to them as soon as I bought them phones that ONLY I pay for!! :rage::rage::rage::rage::rage: it drives me nuts
S when they have to relay shit to me!! Or ask me shit! Cause he’s acting childish! Agitating for sure!!

I text the kid’s father and I add his GF and my hubby. This way, he remains civil and I get an answer, usually from his GF but hey, it’s not the kids! Some guys will not communicate out having another person as messenger. It’s dysfunctional, rude, petty, but it’s on him. Next time your kids ask for something say, your dad and I will discuss this, and wait for his response.