Have any of you dealt with a partner that treats one child differently than the other? How do you approach this with your partner? How do you make things better with the one that your partner treats differently?
My boyfriend( at the time) favored my youngest child during our relationship. My youngest was 2 and my oldest was 12, I just gotten a divorce and my oldest saw through my BF’s bs. He was so much nice to my little one. The first time he yelled at my oldest or no reason( he was an alcoholic too), we had been together almost a year and I kicked his ass to the curb! My kids will always come first. But my ex husband always treated our girls with the same love!
Ummm maybe let the partner go if they refuse to treat the kids differently? Why would you wanna be with someone who makes your child feel differently than the others?
Talk to them about it. A lot of the time they don’t even realize they’re doing it and really need it to be pointed out. If it continues after you point it out then I would leave.
My ex husband used to treat our youngest way different. For the longest time I don’t think he believed he was his because he looks like neither of us (amazing how genetics work), he would always talk different to him, treat him differently and I brought it up to him so many times and it never changed. It didn’t take until I left him for him to figure it out and learn to love each of our kids and treat them the same and see that they are their own little people with their own personalities.
I did. He treated my daughter way different then his son. He never acknowledged the fact he treated her like crap. I’m now with a man that treats my daughter and our daughter the exact same
I wouldn’t let my partner treat my kid different
Make a point to point it out when or just after it’s happened. It needs to be addressed and changed and your partner needs to know it’s unacceptable.
I met my now husband when my little boy was 4 months old. I didn’t let him meet him u til he was 9 months old. He has never treated my son like he wasn’t his. My son is 2.5 now and they are seriously best friends lol
Yes my so is harder on my older kids (teens) more than he is on his own son (3) its tough but I know its all outta love he treats them all 2ith the same love but harder on the hard headed ones
Each kid is different. So yes, each kid should be looked at, as their own, individual self.
But if you mean, mistreated. That’s a whole different story.
Also depends on if the kids are his biologically or if they’re from someone else. You prob think he shouldn’t treat them differently if it’s not his, but he will.
Depends on what you mean by differently…as far as my bonus kids, I try to treat them both the same but one lives here and the other at their moms so of course the one that lives here we have a closer bond! My husband is closer with the one that lives here too and they are both his kids! I will admit that I do treat my husband and I’s son differently but it is a different kind of love, he is mine and he’s a baby!
I married a man with 3 kids and I’m pregnant with our second now. His/our only son is 6 and gets away with EVERYTHING! we are virtual learning and as his bio mom works 5 days a week, hes with me every single day as my boss let’s me bring him in to help him. He damn near broke my bosses brand new couches the other day after I had told him to stop Repeatedly, and he got a good talking to. But that night our almost 2 year old got yelled out and a spanking for trying to play with the dogs food. I called him out on it and he (and his ex) refuses to let me touch the boy in any form to discipline him. I live the kid so much but I’m about to wash my hands of him. I voluntarily take him on my days of work or days off to try and help him learn. He has ALWAYS been a big kid and has never had any real discipline. I’m at my wits end with this little boy. Good luck. Let me know if you come up with anything
I bet they don’t even realize it’s happening. My boyfriend has 3 kids from a previous relationship, then we have 1 together. His eldest son gets all of the attention, BUT his eldest son is also the one who goes everywhere and does everything with dad. The girls don’t want to go to the barn with him, or do the things that need to get done, so the oldest son goes and gets a gas station treat halfway through the day. Dad doesn’t even realize that he’s “favoring” one, but the one that he’s favoring is also the one helping out the most.
Iv been dating a guy for 5 years I have an 18,13,and 11 year old from a previous relationship when my now 2 year old was born my youngest daughter looked at my boyfriend and said now you’ll love him more than me because hes yours. My boyfriend said " I could never love anyone like I love you, my heart has enough love for all of you" they have always had this special bond.
You can either talk to him about how u feel and if things dont change leave
This is kind of a tough one…and some people may not agree…but here goes.
First. Fairly and equally arent the same thing.
-are the children different ages?
-are there different needs for one than the other?
These two things right here make it so my two dont get treated equally. They’re treated fairly, but not equally.
It’s pretty reasonable my 3 year old still needs asked to go potty on a regular basis. He’s three and just finally getting the hang of it.
It’s reasonable that I should not have to fight with my 7 year old about stopping to use the potty. Hes 7 and been potty trained for 4 years.
The rules around food differ for them as well. The three year old has some major sensory aversions. We’re working on it. We’re making progress. But when he’s refused to eat “normal” food all day of course I’ll give him something I know he’ll eat (usually its fruit, nuts, and pepperoni or salami…so not just junk food).
When my 7 year old has no sensory aversions. We make things we know he likes. So when he refuses to eat its usually because he wants a snack/junk instead (I’ve offered him apples/oranges/nuts when he swore he didnt like something)
If any of these things sound familiar in why your partner is treating your children differently, then I personally would maybe talk to your partner about thier approach, but sometimes there are legit reasons for treating kids differently.
I don’t have this experience now, but i did with my ex husband. I had 3 children, he had 1 and we had 1 together. His son and our daughter together were treated completely different than my 3 children, by him. I addressed this over and over and over with him. It never mattered. To correct the problem, we divorced. Granted, there were about a bazillion other reasons in addition to that one reason. But in my opinion, and a lot of others, when you’re with someone, there is no “yours” or “mine”, it’s OURS.
Tell the partner to fuck off