This is for the Mamas that have spouses that work 60-70+ hours. Do you ever feel like your a Single Mom? (Not bash single moms) I work six days a week as well; we have two children under the age of 4 and 1 in school. Plus, I can take them to work. Do you ever feel like your SO doesn’t physically help raise the children? Other than Work Work Work. How can you cope with expecting help and not making him feel like he’s a lazy father? And where do you bring up the fact that there’s no romantic relationship/dates? Sadly I don’t know what my problem is exactly.
I think you said it pretty well here. just shoot it to him straight.
Currently my husband is traveling a lot for work and it’s also hunting season, he has been home less then he’s been away. Every time I start getting worked up about it I just remember he’s doing it for us
Yes!!! Single married mom of 5 (3 still home)
If I mention anything, he gets highly offended. He is programmed to work. That’s all he knows. That’s what he was taught. Provide. Provide. Provide. I appreciate it immensely but… but! There’s more to it! Way more!
My husband was a road worker for the first year and a half of my daughters life (she just turned two and we are due 12/29 with our second). He would be gone for weeks at a time. It was absolutely awful. He still works 60-70 hours per week but at least he’s home every night. I’m a nurse and work 12 hour shifts 3x a week. It’s so hard but when he gets home it is daddy’s play time with Scarlett, so I can cook and clean. If he has a chore he needs to do at home it waits until the weekend as I do the housework anyway. Romantic wise I plan something once every few months where my parents take our daughter for the night and we go out for a romantic date no phones out with a special ringer if my mom calls. It’s not much but it’s better then nothing. I try to remind myself often that he works that much so we can have a better life for our kids then we had. Good luck trying to find a good balance for you guys:heart:. Don’t be afraid to tell him what your feeling. It won’t get better until you can explain what’s wrong and you can come up with a solution to fix it.
Tell him he’s a dad just as much as you are a mom my so works 12 hour days 5-6 days a week on his days off he does nothing but help with our kids he loves to help he always crying how much he misses us and he knows even thou he works and I’m a stay at home from moment I wake and go to bed it’s always kids so on his days off we help each other spend time as a family it’s amazing we have a 3 year old and 6 month old and also take care of my teen bil
I’d just say “Hey, we both work a lot and I feel like we need a family day and a couples day soon. What do you think?” And go from there. Just don’t single him out, that will make him defensive, cuz he’s doing what he feels he needs to do. Come up with ideas together and see if y’all cam find a balance that works for both of you. Good luck.
When I feel like this, I remind myself what life would be like if he didn’t work so many hours. Got to keep the lights on and groceries bought somehow, you know? You’re very fortunate to have someone who works that hard.
I know how you feel. Mine works about 60 hours a week. He does help on his days off. Our son sometimes sees him during the week if he gets home early. I do appreciate him working so I can be a stay at home mom. I do talk to him about dates and romance. Usually when I do he’s all for it.
Yup… Mine worked 96 hrs last week… This time of year my kids don’t see him for weeks on end… And when he is here he’s super grumpy…
My ex was this way but he would only work 40 hrs a week!! He was pure lazy!!! Now my fiancé works a lot (harvest season) so he doesn’t like much but he’s working and when he is home he does help with the kids!!! The older ones don’t need much but we share a 2 mth old and he does an amazing job helping even if he’s tired and needs to sleep a few mins of holding our son so I can get stuff done is super nice!!! I know it won’t last forever!!! It’s hard but I don’t work right now so we work as a team the best we can!!! Definitely talk to him have a set time ok daddy’s home showered or ate now it’s time for have daddy read a book or play a game to give u a little break!!! We share 1 together and I have 5 other kids (3 living with me) my youngest is 4!!! He does amazing with him also!!!
Yup but if you like the bills being paid and being able to stay with your kids then u need to be able to deal with thoose hours i work 2 jobs he works 1 7 days a week
My husband works 50-60 hours a week and helps me every time I ask. If I don’t ask him, he still helps me. It’s just how he is. Some men just aren’t like that. Maybe just talk to him… he’s exhausted and you are exhausted. Romance is hard when there is little time for any relaxation for either of you. If you sit down together and give each other a chance to express feelings back and forth maybe it will help!
My husband worked afternoon shift for 6 years. He wasn’t home until 8:30-9pm. So it was me working all day then going home and raising kids alone 5 days a week and runnig them back and forth to sports alone n all of that. I finally said enough and he got a new job a few weeks ago with day hours…for less money. Financially its crippling but I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m not a single mom I don’t want to live like one any more.
Yes. I call myself a married single mom. My husband works 2nd shift every day except sundays. He works from 2:30 pm to 4:30 am.
My husband and I plus my sister and her husband just went through a round of this with our significant other, but when it came down to it, our husbands were feeling just as unloved as we felt. Your like wait I do this this and this for home everyday, true you might but your not speaking you husbands love language the same goes for him he feels I do x,y, and z and my wife complains I’m not doing enough and shuts down but he isn’t speaking you love language, figure out each other’s language will help help from wasting time on things that don’t do anything for each and give you the opportunity to reconnect on busy schedules
SEND HIM THIS… MAYBE IT WILL OPEN HIS EYES JUST A LIL… IT MAY PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE
Being a single mom would mean that you didn’t have someone there to work that many hours to assist in putting food on the table, paying the bills and preparing for your and your children’s future. So be very very grateful that you are not a single parent.
But talk to him. Your feelings are valid and important.
My husband travels for work. I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I feel bitter about the fact that he gets to go to a hotel room with no responsibility except for feeding himself. It’s also hard for him too though. I’ll call and tell him something hilarious that our son did and I can hear in his voice that he is upset that he missed it. It’s not easy, in fact it sucks and after an extended time you feel drained and irritable. Sometimes texting silly things or adoration helps slightly.
Yes. My husband used to work for Goodyear and the 12 hour rotating shifts killed us. My doctor has told us that we have to abstain from sex so he doesn’t even try to do anything that might be “couple related”. Even not working right now he still doesn’t do anything around the house. He may be starting a new job soon so hopefully that will help. But I do all the laundry and dishes and cleaning and potty training of our 3 year old