Every few months my boyfriends ex will decide to try and get in touch with him (they have no kids together, never married, only together a few months she cheated) he has shown me she will message him and shows me all that’s said and he even thinks it’s okay to respond to her. From what I’ve seen, nothing sexual or flirty had happened, but I’m not comfortable with it cause she always tried to get back with him. We just had problems with him lying and talking to someone when he said he wasn’t etc. and today his ex adds him again, and he doesn’t think it’s a problem and he shouldn’t have to block him even tho I told him I’m uncomfortable with it and would appreciate it if he cut the possibility of her messaging him out. But he’s fighting me on it saying she’s not bothering us so he shouldn’t have to. He went from telling me he’d block her to devising he didn’t want to. What are some of yall’s opinions on this? How can I make him see that it’s disrespectful and kinda fucked up he doesn’t care about how I feel on this situation when I’d never do it to him?
Do unto others what they do to you . People don’t like when you give them a taste of their own medicine .
If I dont like her, he doesn’t like her…it’s worked for my husband and me for 30 years!
Sounds familiar. First and foremost, if he is allowing another female to make you (your relationship) feel threatened, there’s a reason. He either likes entertaining multiples or he ain’t 100% sure about you and keeping his options open. Always trust your gut! If something feels wrong or off, usually there is.
Been there, done this. Trust yourself, always.
If it’s no inappropriate flirty or sexual it’s not a big deal. I’ve been mare for 18 yrs and still keep in contact with a few guys I dated usually to just catch up on the area I used to live in my hubby and I have a solid marriage I can have friends that are male
He doesn’t respect you
If he can’t respect you and has already proved to be a liar, he is not worth your time. This behavior will not change. You should tell him goodbye and find someone worth your time and energy.
It’s his responsibility to respect you and your relationship, not hers. If his track record shows dishonesty regarding other women, especially recently, I’d be ditching the boyfriend. You can’t “make” someone see or feel something if they don’t want to.
LEAVE him that is completely disrespectful
At least hes honest with it. If he lied to you and you found out that’s another different shit storm you’ll start.
I don’t tell my partner who he can and can’t talk to. He doesn’t tell me who I can and can’t talk to.
That being said, if either of us knew that talking to someone made the other uncomfortable, we would limit contact with that person. Neither would have to tell the other “don’t talk to this person”.
Honestly you can’t control who he speaks to and I think asking him to block people might be a bit extreme, at the end of the day you can’t control people’s actions and make them do anything. If it’s upsetting you and your not feeling like your getting the respect you deserve from him maybe it’s time to question whether the relationship is something you want to be in long term
It kind of sounds like he’s trying to keep her there as an option if he’s not willing to cut ties with her completely. And it sounds like she’s trying to play the innocent role knowing that it drives you insane because she’s “unintentionally “trying to drive a wedge between you two because a lot of times when men get mad at their partner they run to someone for comfort. And if you’ve already had a problem with him lying about talking to somebody then it sounds like he’s not the one. Maybe you should teach him a hard lesson and show him how good he’s got it by leaving him
He’s fighting for his right to communicate with an ex he has no attachment to even if it bothers you?
I’m friends with exes. I have no problem with whomever I’m dating being friends with exes. Don’t lie or try to hide it and we’re good.
So thats alittle whack… Obvioulsy hes making it clear that shes not going anywhere and its going to continue to message. Unfortunetly you cant tell him he cant talk to her so I guess break up with him if hes not willing to compromise with you on not talking to her… Sorry this is happening!
It honestly sounds like theres still interest if hes not wanting to block her and that he responds if u truly are happy and love who your with exes should not matter there should be no interest there in entertaining that
Hard one. I’m friends with my ex boyfriend (my 1st serious one actually) we’re on each others fbs and chat all the time. It’s all innocent, if they’re just mates, I don’t see the problem. It shows maturity actually
He needs to tell her to stop messaging him!!! Even though he shows you, he could be deleting msgs!!
You alone know what you’re comfortable with and what you will/won’t tolerate. Others can give advice but in the end the decision is yours to stay/go.