Anybody else had their first baby with someone else who already had a young kid? I am dating a guy who already has a young daughter; we have her full time as her mom passed away. We both agreed to wait to have a baby together after marriage. But now all these thoughts roll around my head, this would be my first baby, but he already went through all this “first time” experience, I’m worried he won’t be excited or have the same feelings as me, I’m worried that his daughter is going to completely go against me with bringing a new member into our family as she has already shown signs of being jealous of me (even over the smallest things like being in the same room as each other or talking about how our day went) I just feel like me being “overexcited” will annoy my SO & his family as they already have been through the first time experience… I’m just lost, I keep thinking of the pros, but then the cons stick in my head, I guess I’m just scared of what the outcomes can come to be once we do have a kid & I’m just looking for others experience that has gone through the same thing.
You have to get out your head sweetheart!. This is you thinking this way. Not anybody else. The little child is not jealous of you. Thats his daughter and she just used to having the dad around and not you
Stop thinking… it will beat you up… take a deep breath… it will all be ok…
Maybe you should talk to her more. You knew from the start he had a child. Stop making it about you. She matters too. Its best to have a good relationship now and understand each other.
The best advice I can come up with is fallow your heart. I thought my husband wouldn’t love my daughter as much as he would his own and I was wrong he loves all of them the same and does everything for each one. I hope you over come this struggle feeling and hopefully y’all will have a wonderful family. Ps give her time she lost her best friend and mom she was use to it being her and her father it’s a lot on children some can handle and some can’t. It takes time and patience and work also understanding.
You are having a problem with your self worth. best to get it fixed. Your marriage and birth will not suffer.
no matter if it’s his first 3rd or 10th child each childs birth should be just as important and cherished and a reason to be excited about it may be his secound child but his first with u and as far as his daughter your daughter shes hurting she will hurt for ever from the loss of her mother many things she may not remeber but that void will always be with her but theres no reason you cant be her mother and never let her feel less then your daughter when shes old enough you can let her know your not trying to replace what she lost but can love her just as much as her birth mother dont treat her differently treat her as if she came out of u after 9 months as for his parents just like dad they should be just as excited for each grand childs birth as the first 5th or 10th
You have to understand shes dealing with her first experience of a death of a parent at such a young age. Not to be mean but try to put yourself in her shoes.
I have gone through that experience except I was the person with a daughter. I was just as excited about my second child as I was my first. I was more experienced but the excitement was the same. My daughter on the other hand had a harder time with me bringing another baby home. She told me to take the baby back to the hospital once I brought her home lol. It took some adjusting for her to have a sibling and I let her take all the time she needed. I reassured her no one could ever take her place and my love for her hasn’t changed and never will. I made sure to include her as much as she wanted to be included with taking care of the baby and I made sure I made time for just me and her. It didn’t take her long to get use to her sister. We went to church one day when her sister was about a month old, and someone asked her if they could have the baby. She told her no. The lady asked her why and she said cause she is our baby lol. It was the cutest thing. It may be hard or may be easy but with lots of love and reassurance, it will be okay and everyone will adjust.
But you should talk to your husband about your feelings.
I had 4 daughters when my husband married me he loves my girls we also had a daughter together just one big happy family so blessed
Don’t stress its not good for you. How old is he’s daughter maybe get her to give you ideas for a name anything to help including her
My husband had 2 children before we were married… He’s was in Saudi Arabia when he’s first son was born and didn’t see him until he was 1. He was dating a woman for 3 months and go pregnant and when she had the baby he had married me, so she didn’t let him see his son at first . When my daughter was born he was in the hospital with me. He was in tears so you don’t know what he’s going to feel . Ask him . A father loves his children and will be excited for everyone of them.