Has anyones spouse joined the military later in life?

My husband kinda did. He went to college, and was working as a chef. Then decided to enlist after his mom and grandma passed away in the same week.

My husband is currently in the military he could always goes reserves and still have the civilian life and have extra income as well and still go out to train

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I personally couldn’t handle it and I think thats ok. But unfortunately there’s only the options of go with it, make it work out or split up


The ugly is you HAVE to be ok with being alone!! I LOVED it. I got to be in charge of everything household, but that’s my nature. Im very independent and you absolutely gain the unit as another family but if you are very dependent on him it will be rough. You need to be a strong person even as a spouse but you either love it or hate it.


I happen to be the spouse who joined later in life. I joined the army when I was 27, our son being 5 at the time. My husband was in the army when we first got together (we’ve been together 9 years now) but got out a couple years later. We were in a very rough spot financially and I knew the benefits of being active in the military and I knew it would provide a fantastic stepping stone in our lives. Since he understands, he fully supported it. We are in such a better place right now. I get my college classes completely paid for, we don’t pay rent for the townhouse we are living in, we have fantastic health insurance and when we are ready to purchase our first home, we have the VA loan to use which will make things so much easier for us. Now the military, especially active, does have a lot of down sides. You are basically kissing freedom away. He will become government property. The military always says “family first” but sometimes service members are stuck with really bad leadership and it becomes “military first, second and third. I don’t care who has a family”. I personally have good leadership so me having a family does actually mean something to them. It could honestly go either way. He might be gone doing training weeks at a time and of course there’s the possibility of deployment. Don’t let the bad scare you out of all of the good. Only you two know if the sacrifice is worth it. It was to us. And if he does decide to join, please know that training is stressful so just be the shoulder he can lean on and be his biggest supporter. He will need you more than ever.


At 1st it can be rough, make sure you have about 2 months of money to cover everything set aside before he goes to basic. The recruiter will sometimes say they gets paid right away, but that isn’t always the case. My husband didn’t get paid till his graduation day as did the others he was with in basic. We had 2 kids ages 3 & 2 when he joined and we almost lost everything if it wasn’t for family helping out. Other than that it was great, the Healthcare was good, we got to experience new places with our kids for 6 whole years, then he decided to get out as his next 4 yrs would’ve been attached to a boat and out to sea for the majority of those 4 years. Deployments suck, especially if your not independent and fine with truly being alone with your child in a new place.

Smartest thing you can do an will enjoy it. I love it an still get the itch to move.

Congratulations to him!!!

The amount of benefits makes it well worth it if you and your husband are mentally strong enough to handle every change you will see in your lives from it.


Definitely wouldn’t call mid-twenties later in life. However, I think it’s a great move. Both my husband and I are active duty. I’ve noticed the people who “went out and experienced life” before joining the military were more successful than those who came in straight out of high school. The medical benefits, retirement benefits, education benefits (which can be passed on to your kid while your husband gets $4500 a year in TA to pursue an education while on active duty), and life insurance benefits are also a bonus. It’s hard to PCS frequently, but if you find a place you like, you can always put in to stay. Things will also depend on what job he gets selected for or chooses because that will set the deployment tempo and work schedule for however long his career is.

My spouse is in the military we have twins that are 2 but due to covid they arent deploying anyone unless they absolutely have to and keep canceling/postponing dates for him right now. It’s not terrible but it does get a little more stressful with the kids when he’s gone you have to make sure that you have people around to help you

Oh god. You just referred to your mid 20’s as later in life :sweat_smile:


I was single when I joined AF at 24 I think now I’m a spouse. So easy and it when by fast. But dual military gives you double the benefits. But yes it will be a big change unless you decide on reservist. Joining same branch is probably best as long as you have different jobs.

My friend joined at the age of 40. My daughter and her daughter were best friends so it was hard for them but we couldnt be happier for them. And yes, it’s for the best. There is a lot of sacrifice but worth it. To see them flourish on the other side of the country makes me beyond proud :heart:

I’m 30. My husband is 27. We’ve been together for 10 years and married for 6 and he just joined the army back in September. We also have 2 children (5 &1.5 years older) it is a big change. He’s been gone since 09/14 and graduates from AIT on 3/11

I knew we are just starting out on this journey…but I do believe that for now it has definitely made our relationship stronger. It’s much different going from seeing each other daily and calling and texting daily to only communicating thru letters. But I think that’s what helped with us. We communicate 100x better now than in august

There are so many factors missing.

  1. Active military or something like national guard or reserves?
  2. What does he plan on going in for? (His job)

My husband and I are both in. I’m national guard and have been for 9 years in July. (I joined at 20 because I didn’t have a job and had a 1 yo) and my husband is reserves (he joined at 29(maybe?)). I’m a low deployment MOS. While it’s rare for me to deploy it still happens. My husband is a medic. But is stateside on a mission for the past 2 years and wasn’t deployable.

It all depends on how you feel it will affect your family ultimately. NG and Reserves isn’t bad. I wish I could have went active when I first joined. But NG has been good to me. I was able to get a pretty cushy full time job through them with great pay and my husband was able to get NREMT qualified free and fast.

Depends which service. My son won’t even date because he says it’s too tough to maintain a relationship when you’re at sea for the bulk of the time.

Active duty or Reserves? Lifer or in for a few? Officer or enlisted? OK with rules & constant education or a rebel? In the higher levels you need to be politically astute to advance. You might get to live in other countries that are fun or be separated while your spouse is stuck in a hellhole for 9 months.

There’s always the possibility of making the “ultimate sacrifice,” but depends on the service, the job, and the deployments he will have as to the risk. Coast Guard seems less dangerous and you often do heroic stuff you can talk about.

You won’t get laid off, but if you fail to advance after a certain period, you can get kicked out. If you make it to 20 years (can include Reserve duty), you get nice benefits.

If you’re doing it for the money, it ain’t worth it.
If you’re doing it for a better career you’ve got to be like mega patient and if you want to own instead renting your property then unless you’re stationed in the same base for X amount of years, you’re just always going to be apart.

Also, there’s living on or off the base. I LOVE living off base. Just feels free-er

From family experience it’s great!! Would highly recommend it for anyone!!!

Coast Guard is AWESOME!!!